Intimacy: You tried

You tried

By briiiiiiii123 - 12/01/2015 07:56 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 505

You deserved it 7 765

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Same thing different taste

Hangry for that Mickey D's

By anonymous - 23/07/2021 07:59

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, starting to get intimate with him, when one of his friends walked into the room, grabbed my leg, and pulled me onto the floor. His reason? He was hungry and wanted to go to McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 622

You deserved it 183

Horndog

By Anonymous - 20/08/2012 02:05 - United States - La Grange

Today, I had to bail my boyfriend out of jail. He got arrested because he was tugging his man-meat in the drive-thru at a McDonald's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 784

You deserved it 5 678

By Anonymous - 15/03/2010 16:46 - United States

Today, I spent three hours getting ready to go out to lunch with my boyfriend, only to find out he meant we're going to the McDonald's inside Wal-Mart so he can also pick up condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 681

You deserved it 9 981

By WellOops - 18/07/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend crashed his car while I was giving him road head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 671

You deserved it 9 713

By krisx3ftw - 11/01/2010 13:25 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date, destination unknown. I dressed up, he had a tux on. We went to McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 347

You deserved it 5 749

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 412

You deserved it 5 769

By Anonymous - 13/01/2011 21:10 - Lebanon

Today, I was having sex with my fiancé when he stopped and said, "Boy, what I wouldn't give for a burger right now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 415

You deserved it 5 006

Anticlimactic

By JC12345 - 18/03/2009 04:35 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebee's for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked, "How was it?" he says, "It was terrible", to which I said, "The food was that bad?" He replies, "No, the sex". FML

I agree, your life sucks 91 016

You deserved it 13 839

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 618

You deserved it 5 730

By Krissy - 25/01/2010 08:36 - United States

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend on the back bumper of my car. After he finished he told me he felt like he was riding a seahorse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 576

You deserved it 4 658

PrimeEvilTahir 24

Monday 12 January 2015 15:21

Not so happy meal..

stryder9090 28

Monday 12 January 2015 15:27

He's loving it

Comments

SmittyJA24 26

Monday 12 January 2015 16:30

Car sex is quite over-rated.

IceMan11 23

Monday 12 January 2015 16:36

Something about special sauce.

buckdharma 37

Monday 12 January 2015 16:36

Awww, he added nuts to your hot fudge sundae!

DrCheese 16

Monday 12 January 2015 16:40

Did it get on the fries!? Dammit...

joshi42 16

Monday 12 January 2015 16:52

See? That's the problem - when you don't suck on time, something else does.

justinccp 8

Monday 12 January 2015 16:59

Agree with #19 How else can you finish? Lol

xluciferx666 21

Monday 12 January 2015 17:08

So he was not bada ba ba baby lovin it?

logicrules 11

Monday 12 January 2015 17:09

Hopefully he took the food out first. Mind you it's already in your milkshake.

shitcreeksurvr 13

Monday 12 January 2015 17:20

Note to self: do not eat lunch while reading FML's

NakNak_fml 10

Monday 12 January 2015 17:37

I guess you guys didn't have the drive to keep it up.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I were talking about the difference between the U.S. and Canada when she asked me if they have their own government. She wasn't sure if they were governed by the U.S. or if they didn't have a government at all. She's a 33-year-old college graduate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 564

You deserved it 2 631

Today, after a week of not seeing each other, my boyfriend asked if he could come over and hang out. He only came because he ran out of food at his house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 154

You deserved it 3 610

Today, while riding the bus to a really important job interview the child sitting next to me threw up in my lap. His mother then told him to wipe his mouth. He used my sleeve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 177

You deserved it 3 431

Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 313

You deserved it 34 837

Today, my boyfriend confessed that after every fight we have, he dips my toothbrush in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 419

You deserved it 5 433

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for being "too clingy". I haven't seen her in over 3 weeks and texted her first once. Guess that's still too much for her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 300

You deserved it 842