When you brag a bit too much By Lewis - 11/12/2018 00:30 do not count your chickens before they hatch I agree, your life sucks 231 You deserved it 155 Share Tweet Share
Today, while walking barefoot through my house, I saw something shine on the floor across the hallway. Curious as to what it was, I rubbed my foot across the carpet to feel it. It wasn't until it was deeply lodged in my foot did I realize it was an open safety pin. FML I agree, your life sucks 19 683 You deserved it 40 899
Today, I found out that my new husband is expecting two children: ours, due in January, and our 16-year-old neighbor's, due in March. FML I agree, your life sucks 66 363 You deserved it 3 581
Today, my girlfriend told me on Facebook to stop calling/texting her because she lost her phone. Right under her post was "sent from Facebook for iPhone." FML I agree, your life sucks 42 488 You deserved it 4 683
Today, I bought a jacket with real fur on it. Turns out, i'm allergic and now my ears look like they have herpes on them. FML I agree, your life sucks 14 354 You deserved it 47 833
Today, I was about to have sex with my girlfriend for the first time. When I took my shirt off, she saw my chest acne. She ran out of my house and hasn't spoken to me in 5 hours. FML I agree, your life sucks 2 188 You deserved it 276
Today, after months of therapy, it turns out my erectile dysfunction is basically caused by fear of my wife’s temper. I'm mentally too afraid of my wife to want sex with her, so my penis says “NO”. Also, due to my wife’s temper, I’m too afraid to tell her that I’m too scared to have sex with her. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 340 You deserved it 317
Run Forest...Run!