Love: Way to beat the "weird dad" allegations

Way to beat the "weird dad" allegations

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 291

You deserved it 3 300

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Same thing different taste

Not now, guys

By Sonofa - 17/05/2013 15:52 - Canada - Cold Lake

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus." FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 262

You deserved it 3 812

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 991

You deserved it 7 933

Mr Clean

By Jenn - 18/08/2021 09:59

Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 134

Unloading

By thanksmom - 09/01/2013 19:57 - United States - Tucson

Today, I took my boyfriend to meet my parents. As he was loading his truck, I went inside to take a surreptitious shit. I ended up clogging the toilet, and so the first thing my mom said to my boyfriend was, "You'll have to find another bathroom; she just clogged it all up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 672

You deserved it 7 797

Sitcom vibes

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 19:31 - France - Paris

Today, I went with my boyfriend to meet his parents. I had to excuse myself to use the bathroom, and I ended up taking a huge crap that wouldn't flush. I had to reach in and break it up with my hands just so it would flush. Only after I washed up did I notice a plunger sitting under the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 419

You deserved it 48 894

Oversharing is caring

By Lauren - 12/10/2011 17:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 489

You deserved it 2 868

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 895

You deserved it 2 911

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 357

By Becca - 31/01/2010 05:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months asked me to spend the night at his apartment for the first time. I had to poop really bad when I got there, so I used his only bathroom. He went after me, and came out a few seconds later, gagging. Apparently, I clogged his toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 092

You deserved it 7 046

By quit fucking up my life - 23/11/2013 01:08 - United States - Kenai

Today, my dad met my boyfriend for the first time. He soon "casually" took a huge knife from the kitchen drawer and told my boyfriend that he's always wondered what it'd be like to stab someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 668

You deserved it 4 927

amerwin 3

Wednesday 16 February 2011 22:06

Is he a folder or a buncher?

Quasar55_fml 18

Wednesday 16 February 2011 22:13

Hope he took notes. Test on monday.

Comments

Paul_Days 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 4:46

Dinner and a Movie! Dave Days's new album!!

sixfoot2 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 5:08

and knowing is half the battle!!

insertcutename 3

Thursday 17 February 2011 6:42

Go Joe!

MamiPR1029 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 5:37

My dad does the same exact thing.

ibitehard 9

Thursday 17 February 2011 5:45

It's an important life lesson for your boyfriend now his ass is clean for all his (awesome) gay lovers who will probably **** him more than you do ;D Isn't being realistic fun?

vomitknife 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 6:13

Is your boyfriend named Mohammed or some other raghead name, if so i can see why your dad was giving him wiping lessons.

ericownz101 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 9:01

NO NO NO you guys are all wrong... girls dont poop

blo0_starZz 0

Thursday 17 February 2011 9:48

Actually, the reason they wash with water & their hands is to be fully clean (part of their religion), and it wouldn't be correct if they didn't use toilet paper cause the germs would still be there & spread. So, #55 is correct. Stick that in your juice box & SUCK IT.