Health, Healthy Lifestyle, Gross, Weird and Awkward: Mr Clean

Mr Clean

By Jenn - 18/08/2021 09:59

Today, I discovered my new boyfriend doesn’t have toilet paper. He has a toilet cloth, which he instructed me to rinse off in the toilet after I was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 370

You deserved it 134

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Same thing different taste

Confinement, episode 3774

By S3XY_SiNG3R - 11/04/2020 02:00

Today, I woke up to use the restroom, because I had to take a shit. There was basically no toilet paper left. I asked my boyfriend if he could go get some. It was 1 a.m. He said he’d go when the stores were open, then told me to just rinse off in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 2 093

Way to beat the "weird dad" allegations

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I had my boyfriend come over for dinner for the first time. It was all going well until my dad started explaining to my boyfriend how to use toilet paper. He even demonstrated it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 291

You deserved it 3 300

By Anonymous - 30/01/2017 23:00 - United Kingdom - Dukinfield

Today, I found out that boyfriend doesn't think he needs to wipe his ass after he shits if he's going straight in the shower because he can just "clean it up in there". We share a loofah. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 329

You deserved it 2 148

Joe Bidet

By tmrwsmggls - 16/11/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. Right as I sat down and started taking a dump, I looked over at the empty toilet paper roll and remembered his roommate had told us the night before that they were out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 357

By Rella - 15/12/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were in the 69 position with me on top and as we changed positions, and I turned to face him, I saw toilet paper on his face that he didn't seem to notice and that I casually had to wipe off his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 040

You deserved it 1 321

By poop towel - 15/09/2011 19:43 - United States

Today, my new roommate moved in. It seems that instead of using toilet paper like a normal human being, she instead opts to use the nearest towel in reach. I found this out when I went to dry off with mine after a shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 652

You deserved it 2 241

Goldfinger

By Anonymous - 24/07/2020 02:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend doesn’t think it’s important to wipe after he poops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 874

You deserved it 194

Are you OK?

By FUCKING IDIOT - 09/11/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend yet again bought paper towels instead of toilet paper. I screamed myself hoarse at him, and told him to go get some toilet paper before I killed us both. He came back with coffee filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 315

You deserved it 845

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 710

You deserved it 2 417

Toxic waste

By Anonymous - 27/08/2025 06:00 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, while apartment hunting with my boyfriend, I needed to use the bathroom. We were on our own and no toilet paper. Fortunately I carry wipes with me, because I had to more than just pee. All was fine, until I tried to flush and realized the water was turned off. The next person will get quite the surprise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 215

You deserved it 380

Nikki 17

Wednesday 18 August 2021 11:45

Run

rayraysoto 10

Wednesday 18 August 2021 12:30

Run Away and fast

Comments

Nikki 17

Wednesday 18 August 2021 11:45

Run

Hangryko 31

Wednesday 18 August 2021 17:12

Exactly what I was going to say.

rayraysoto 10

Wednesday 18 August 2021 12:30

Run Away and fast

EBrogen 12

Wednesday 18 August 2021 14:09

When you choose to date the 3rd world populace, you become the 3rd world. Congratulations on leading the way.

xxlk4xx 6

Wednesday 18 August 2021 15:56

and that would be a no from me 🤣

Crowned Sataness 12

Wednesday 18 August 2021 19:58

that would be a deal breaker for me. nope

TruthSoothsayer 3

Wednesday 18 August 2021 20:06

Seems sanitary. Hopefully he's at least got the blue water toilet tablets.

Plop 17

Wednesday 18 August 2021 21:11

I think your auto-correct may have acted up a bit here. What you probably meant to write was "super gross". No need to thank me.

TruthSoothsayer 3

Wednesday 18 August 2021 21:12

Sarcasm is difficult to convey via text sometimes.

mekiswrite 21

Wednesday 18 August 2021 20:09

That's how you get a disease... leave now.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 18 August 2021 20:38

Check, please! If anything triggers an immediate ghosting, this would definitely make the list!

FakeFriendMagnet 1

Thursday 19 August 2021 1:04

Sounds like it's time to get a new boyfriend.

randybryant799 20

Thursday 19 August 2021 4:34

Holy crap. That is beyond disgusting. That's a definite deal breaker. eewww

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The Top

Today, while living in Florida, I had a conversation with my mother explaining that it might be best for me to come back home. Her response, "Don't worry, they have plenty of homeless shelters down there if you need a place to stay." Thanks Mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 907

You deserved it 3 740

Today, my family and I are spending the weekend with my in-laws, and their disrespectful, disobedient asshole of a dog. He does whatever he wants, and if I scold him, my mother-in-law in turn scolds me, then tells me how something one of us did is to blame for the dog's behavior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 304

Today, I got a job. My parents have decided it's now a better idea to take money from my paycheck instead of grounding me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 541

You deserved it 6 186

Today, my boss tried to cancel my leave because he’s “taking a mental health break next week and really needs me in the office.” I’m getting married next week and going on a two-week, non-refundable honeymoon, but he needs a mental health break. I had to get HR involved. Snowflake lazy prick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 103

Today, the gums around my wisdom teeth are so badly swollen that I can't talk. I called a dentist to find out if I could see them for a removal. They told me to contact a surgeon, or go to the hospital emergency room. I have no insurance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 094

You deserved it 233

Today, I decided to try wearing eyeshadow, even though I'm not that girly. When I asked for help after several failed attempts, my sister walked in and said, "It's easy, just do what I do." She put the makeup on herself and looked amazing. She's eight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 004

You deserved it 6 854