Twerking is for special occasions

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 15:00

Today, I literally had to say the words, “Please stop twerking” to my niece. She’s seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 27

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Badmouth Strikes Again

By Melissa - 08/03/2020 14:00

Today, my 7-year-old sister had to tell my mom to watch her language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 376

You deserved it 169

Sips unsee juice

By Facepalm2020 - 21/06/2020 23:01

Today, my mom asked me what twerking was. When I said that it was a club dance, trying to get out of telling her what it actually was, she begged me to teach her how to do it. My mom complained to my dad, who grounded me for not teaching her to twerk her ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 599

You deserved it 352

Stop that now

By Soo - 24/12/2020 08:04 - Spain - Archidona

Today, I saw my 4 year-old daughter singing and dancing, so I decided to sing along. As soon as I started singing she said, without blinking her eyes and super calmly, "Could you please stop doing that?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 775

You deserved it 275

By FMLPLZ - 03/01/2014 02:52 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, when I am asked to do something and I don't do it immediately, my mother threatens to "twerk" in front of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 770

You deserved it 9 209

Nice family you've got there

By Wmsys32pr9 - 30/03/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, a 7-year-old girl came up to me and told me to go fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard the conversation; she came up to me and told me to go fuck myself as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 273 996

You deserved it 30 914

Everyone's a Critic

By Kitten - 19/06/2018 15:00

Today, I was playing some children's music while I cooked so my two-year-old was entertained a little. I started dancing while cooking and she looked at me with a straight face and said, "Mama... Don't dance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 987

You deserved it 674

By iheartkanye - 30/06/2019 20:01

Today, my little sister was rhyming words with "truck." When she came to "fuck", I told her never to say that word again because it was bad. She ran around the house screaming it. I'm in trouble for being "a bad influence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 693

You deserved it 235

By Anonymous - 19/10/2014 20:58 - United Kingdom

Today, my 7-year-old used the word "crap". When I told her that she mustn't use that word because it's rude, she simply replied, "Mother, you should hear the words I use at school." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 504

You deserved it 5 793

By anon - 12/12/2014 01:43 - United States - Commack

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 444

You deserved it 2 820

Keeping up appearances

By vanessax - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Crown Point

Today, my seven-year-old told me to lose weight. Her reason? There's a family fun day coming up at her school and she is embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 576

You deserved it 23 458

Top comments

No comments yet.

Comments

No comments yet.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I booked a long distance flight across two continents, costing me over 600 bucks. I then got a confirmation email. For a different flight. I wrote to their customer service address, saying there has been an error, and to please either change or cancel the booking. I never got any reply. At all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 456

You deserved it 195

Today, I turned on the air conditioner in my room, even though it's absolutely freezing in there. Why? To drown about my mom and brother talking. My mom swears that they aren't arguing, but they're so damn loud that it doesn't even matter. They know I'm autistic and that I have hyperacusis. However, they don't care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 071

You deserved it 256

Today, I was at the store when I ran into an old friend from high school. He didn't recognize me at first, but when I told him who I was, he instantly shouted "Oh! Yeah! The fat chick from Mr. H's class!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 640

You deserved it 4 359

Today, while blowing my nose after being bunged up for days, it finally unblocked. A solid slimy multicoloured booger roughly the size of a grape shot out, blew right through the tissue and landed on my manager's shoe. Hell hath no fury like a lady sneezed upon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 881

You deserved it 522

Today, I checked my bank balance, to make sure that the last installment of my funding had been paid in, and realised that I'd been overpaid by £500. So, being honest, I told my boss about this. Turns out, I wasn't overpaid by £500, I was overpaid by £1000 and need to give it all back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 976

You deserved it 18 376

Today, I was called a paedophile and was physically attacked, because I parked in a spot directly next to a McDonald’s outdoor play area and sat there for a while. I was waiting for my drive-through order, in the spot where the staff told me to wait. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 261

You deserved it 105