Sextoys, Funerals and Intimacy: Too late - FML

Too late

By hinting - 17/06/2013 16:43 - United States - Dearborn

Spicy

Today, my grandma's new dildo arrived in the mail. We buried her yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 607

You deserved it 4 592

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Same thing different taste

By carebear1228 - 01/07/2014 17:31 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my grandma got a new boyfriend. She dumped the old one because "His wife was taking too long to die." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 057

You deserved it 4 787

Overcome

By Handblocked - 04/09/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, I got a new vibrator, raced all the way home, tore my pants off, took it out of the box, and then my grandmother walked in my front door. Apparently she's spending the night so she can make it to a doctor's appointment in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 430

You deserved it 633

Thanks, I hate it!

By V…… - 09/02/2009 07:51 - United States

Spicy

Today, I visited my 78 year-old grandmother. She thanked me for visiting and gave me a magazine before I left telling me I might find something I like in there. When I got home I looked at the magazine only to realize it's full of dildos and sextoys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 433

You deserved it 3 438

Weird kink but OK

By Anonymous - 25/01/2024 13:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 620

By tdiz - 12/10/2010 04:48 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was getting frisky with my fiancée when she started talking about her dead great-grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 911

You deserved it 3 577

Thanks for the memories

By How - 01/10/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, I was expecting a package from a few days ago, but it still hadn't arrived. As I was going to work, I found it at my grandma's house. Why didn't my grandma tell me, you ask? She died last year. My package was mistakenly delivered to A DEAD PERSON. FML

I agree, your life sucks 394

You deserved it 116

Quandary

By Anonymous - 18/05/2022 12:00

Spicy

Today, my nana died today of a heart attack in her sleep. I’ll never know if there was something I could have done, because while it was happening I was upstairs with a dildo, as it’s been a month since I had sex and I had the urge. I feel so selfish and ashamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 589

You deserved it 298

By Anonymous - 10/09/2013 07:04 - United States

Today, I found out my grandma wears dentures when I had to fish them out of a cooler. She lost them bobbing for beer at a local bar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 957

You deserved it 2 616

Boomer humor

By Anonymous - 15/02/2014 23:14 - Australia - Fitzroy

Spicy

Today, I proudly informed my grandma that I now have a girlfriend. My grandpa overheard and said how surprising that was, given how expensive blowup dolls are. He and my grandma then both laughed out loud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 364

You deserved it 6 336

By Jonnyboo - 29/08/2009 12:13 - United States

Today, I found out I was getting a new bed for my room. Then find out it was my great-grandmother's. The one she died in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 570

You deserved it 2 803

Next

Top comments

teddy4nyy 13

Monday 17 June 2013 23:05

Quite possibly the creepiest FML I've ever read on this site.

yoimtrollin 24

Monday 17 June 2013 23:06

"Oh das nasty" - Cleveland Brown

Comments

subiedude08 17

Tuesday 18 June 2013 9:00

Sometime u just gotta say what the ****

Chris425 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 9:03

Grandma still needs some

noreallywhat 17

Tuesday 18 June 2013 9:35

so who gets it in the will?

random_commenter 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 10:40

Actually, there is a well known scam that works like this: The scammers get the names of recently deceased persons from the obituary in the newspaper. Then, if they can find out the address, they send sex toys or nasty **** videos claiming that the recently deceased has ordered those. Usually, out of grief and embarrassment, the relatives will pay for the order without questioning the bill...

Epikouros 31

Tuesday 18 June 2013 12:40

It's wouldn't be so surprising if grandma was 29 years old when OP was born.

IsRaeliPrinCess 8

Tuesday 18 June 2013 12:56

You should keep it so you can feel closer to her.....oh wait....

lovekiki 19

Tuesday 18 June 2013 13:47

That's the spirit, grandma!

kiml123 5

Tuesday 18 June 2013 13:51

:( That's sad!

SiegeOfTheSiren 9

Tuesday 18 June 2013 15:16

This reminds me of some weird, screwy version of Romeo and Juliet. :X

girlymae 12

Tuesday 18 June 2013 16:33

Yah then you might have found it being used...

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Today, I got a ransom note saying, "We have kidnapped your husband and won't release him unless you postpone the wedding." The wedding is tomorrow and it was in his handwriting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 470

You deserved it 4 495

Today, my job application for McDonald's was rejected. This is the second time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 51

Today, I realized that the title of my memoir may as well be, “I Didn’t Want To, but I Felt Like I Had No Choice.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 739

You deserved it 840

Today, my boyfriend told me that if I ever cheated on him, he'll chop my body up and dispose of all the parts, but keep my boobies, because he likes them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 321

You deserved it 7 734

Today, I purposefully spilt my 44oz. cup of water on myself at work, because spending the rest of the day in soaking wet pants was less embarrassing than letting people know I'd pissed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 397

You deserved it 2 992

Today, it's been 3 months since I've been talking to a guy. He told me that he doesn't want the responsibility of being in a relationship. He likes me and would still like to have sex, but not ready right now for something serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 311