By Anonymous - 13/10/2010 14:03 - United States

Spicy
Today, while having sex with my girlfriend, her pet bird whistled a tune she'd been trying to teach it. She stopped and congratulated it, and I took the chance to move it to the other room to prevent further distraction. She got mad and wouldn't let me back in bed because I just "untrained it." FML
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You deserved it 7 715
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Top comments

DjeePee 24

You obviously don't know how hard it is to train a bird. Neither do I, but still I guess it's more difficult than having sex.

55 6
alexFYL 11

It's her bird, not yours. So why'd you even move it anyway? Totally unnecessary. Just pick up where you left off and keep going. Gives your little man a breather anyway so he can calm down and go the distance. Also while training animals or children, you don't separate them from you when they're doing something you want to encourage - that's what you do when you want them to knock it off. Whining, screaming, barking... you ignore and leave the room. That's essentially what you did.

39 3

Comments

HomeAl0ne 20

OP didn't notice that the tune she trained it to whistle was "Head Down, Ass up" by 2 Live Crew. Missed opportunity...

1 1
TRACKGiRLJONNi 0

cockblocked by a bird..

0 1
keilanclarke 0

it'll be more untrained when you let it out the window;)

0 1
bankrupt 15

Dump her. The bird is more important to her than you are. No animal should come before a human. This is foreshadowing of what a relationship with her will be; pets first, you second.

1 5
DjeePee 24

Sooooo, if her bird was dying, and her boyfriend wanted sex, she should do it with him because he's more important than the bird? I completely understand and know that men > animals, but there are exeptions. It's not like she loves her pet more, or not that we know, she's just trying to train it. If your cat peed in the house, and finally, finally used the litterbox, would you prefer your boy/girlfriend to put it away, alone in another room, so that he might unlearn it, whilst you two are having fun for twenty minutes and able to clean up cat piss days after, or would you say "Good cat, here's a treat, I'm taking a little break from the sex, just two minutes, so that I can live in a urine-free house forever"?

2 0
alexFYL 11

Fortunately, the world is full of more compassionate people than you in the world, so most people won't have to deal with that. I wouldn't want to date anyone that selfish - any guy I'm interested in needs to have a life, interests and hobbies other than just being up my butt all day long, and be independent and intelligent enough to understand that I also have my own.

1 1
alexFYL 11

You know the answer to that... he wouldn't own a cat because it would inconveeeeeeeeeenience him. He needs his time to play WoW. Either that or he'd just throw it out.

2 1
st0815 9

Yes, #35 - and what if they needed to have sex to save the world, would you let the bird die then? #34 is commenting on what actually happened, your hypothetical situations have nothing to do with the case.

1 2
DjeePee 24

The world > bird Stupid crying annoying baby > bird mental handicapped agressive person > bird So: every human being > bird But I don't think OP having sex would save the world. If OP just accepted a little break, the bird would be trained, his girlfriend would ba happy, and they would have great sex after that. But noooo, OP thought "Two seconds without sex??? OMFG NOOOOO, replace the bird, REPLACE THE BIRD FOR GOD's SAKE!!!" or something like that. I'm not sure, but I think it's a little selfish.

1 0
metawarr56 0

Lol, nice wording. Kinda gross that the bird was having sex with your girlfriend.

0 1
bankrupt 15

The actual situation was that the GF was more excited about something her bird did than having sex with her boyfriend. There is no situation in which I would be more excited about a stupid pet trick than being with my husband, unless we owned a pet that suddenly started ******** $100 bills. My point is that I am suspicious that the OP got cockblocked for no reason other than the GF's preference for her pet over her man. Cats don't unlearn how to use a box, and in fact most of them have an extremely short training period because they are clean and smart and typically have fastidious toilet habits so your fake situation is at best unlikely to occur. The bird did its its trick, the GF praised it. The transaction is over. Back to what you were doing. The GF must be an idiot; what would make her think that moving the bird would "untrain" it? If that were the case, she would have to leave the bird in that exact spot for its entire life or it would become "untrained" of all it has learned. So on further review, the GF not only prefers her pet to her man, she is also stupid. "You moved my bird and untrained him!" Really? That's beyond stupid. When she goes to the bathroom, be sure to holler "Pants down FIRST!" to her so she doesn't mix it up.

1 1
elrusso 0

Sorry to hear your girlfriend was cheating on you with her pet bird. FYL, OP.

1 1
rockyraccoon28 8

you do realize you probably spent more time not having sex while you were moving the bird than you would have if you had just let her encourage the bird and then keep going?

4 1
freshkid 0

and this is how the sequel of 'angry birds' started! lol

0 1