Today, when putting something away on a high shelf, something small and black fell down my cleavage. I thought nothing of it and finished the task at hand. When I pulled out the neck of my shirt later to find it and looked down, glaring up at me from my boobs was a large, disgruntled spider. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML
Today, I stooped to pick up an earring back off the ground. It was actually a spider. FML
Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML
Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML
Today, while at work, I felt what I thought was a ball of lint on the back of my neck. I reached back and grabbed it only to end up holding the biggest wolf spider I've ever seen. FML
Today, while hiking, I walked face first into a spider web. Freaking out, I shook my hair out in case there was a spider. Later on in the day the spider fell from my hair into my food. FML
Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML
Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML
Today, I walked into my boss’s office for a serious meeting. While I was talking, I felt something on my arm, looked down, and realized it was a giant spider crawling up my sleeve. I tried to casually shake it off without screaming, but I just ended up doing a bizarre, silent dance in front of my boss. FML
Today, while typing at my desk, I leaned back in my chair to stretch my arms. A spider dangling from the ceiling must have been watching me since it had perfect timing on its descent right into my open yawning mouth. FML
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Top comments
elgordito_fml 0
lol, this is a awesome mental image
Laxloverr24 0
I hate spiders
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Comments (76)
omgwtfnoob 0
wow i would have completely freaked out. Probably run into the wall and ko myself and the spider.
rwac07 0
that's sexy
bxenon 0
what a lucky spider
Firetroop 0
HAHAHA. Easy longterm solution is to wear something that doesn't show cleavage.
maddie1 0
oh i woulda piiisssseddddd myseeeeeeellllllffff
krysxkatastrophe 14
that happened to me at the park once. I tore my shirt off and ran screaming for someone to kill it.
jwlz2013 0
I would have yelled my ass off that is gross and I hate spiders
Jordan3297 0
I'm sorry but please do tell how this falls under intimacy??
Mjwnenrjs 17
"a large disgruntled spider" that is great
veedub94 0
technically isn't that like second base or something so I guess it could be intimate but if it was intimate doesn't that mean she enjoyed it and then it would.t be a fml