Intimacy: Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of... - FML

By bjfail - 09/01/2010 15:56 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, the guy I have been seeing stopped me in the middle of sex and told me to finish him off by going down on him instead. After a few minutes, I looked up to discover that the noises I had thought were moans of pleasure were actually the sounds of him snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 556

You deserved it 4 906

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Same thing different taste

So hott

By facepalm - 27/02/2009 08:39 - Singapore

Spicy

Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. About halfway through he went really quiet and started breathing heavily. I thought he was about to climax until I discovered he had fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 822

You deserved it 15 198

Worn out

By Anonymous - 18/11/2010 16:09 - Canada

Spicy

Today, while my boyfriend was going down on me, he fell asleep right between my legs. The worst part was I only noticed when he started snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 933

You deserved it 6 003

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 14:19 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was having amazing sex with this guy I had been seeing for a while. It got really intense, so did my moans. Guys usually like when I moan, but he just put his hands over my mouth and told me to "shut up" because it sounded like "pig noises". FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 354

You deserved it 21 516

Relaxed

By sarabellekitty - 21/10/2019 04:00

Spicy

Today, I was having really great sex with my boyfriend. I was on top and he seemed like he was really enjoying it. Then, I realized he'd fallen asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 979

You deserved it 365

Snooze fest

By Karly - 03/02/2022 20:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend fell asleep while still giving me oral sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 251

Sexy talk

By dtmfa - 31/10/2009 04:31 - United States

Spicy

Today, I spent the night with my guy, who I hadn't seen in ages. In the middle of sex, he answered his phone, told me to be quiet, talked to the girl on the other end about how boring his day was, then left the room to finish talking to her. When he came back, he asked if I felt like swallowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 299

You deserved it 4 990

By Anonymous - 09/03/2013 08:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my husband, he went soft. When I asked him what happened he said, "I'm about to fall asleep." He then plopped down on my chest and began to snore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 178

You deserved it 5 981

By Anonymous - 18/04/2011 03:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was finally having sex with the man of my dreams, and then he fell asleep on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 642

You deserved it 8 241

Kinky

By 9gingerface66 - 15/01/2012 06:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, after finally getting up the confidence, I started talking really dirty to my boyfriend on the phone. I was getting really onto it, and he seemed to enjoy it too. Then I stopped for a second to gauge his reaction. He was snoring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 910

You deserved it 4 691

The Great Pretender

By CJune24 - 22/10/2014 21:24 - United Kingdom - Huddersfield

Spicy

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 554

You deserved it 5 460

Next

Top comments

UnicornsDoExist 0

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:44

since when do snores sound like moans of pleasure?

amberbby69 6

Saturday 9 January 2010 20:43

If he actually stopped you in the middle, then that means you were just bad, period.

Comments

omghehehe 0

Sunday 10 January 2010 21:55

Maybe he was very tired or bored??? If he does it again, then you know you have a problem.

thejedi08 10

Monday 11 January 2010 0:35

maybe you dont need to try to have sex past 3:00 AM

spooner_13 2

Monday 11 January 2010 7:34

Kick his ass!

gamer_girl 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 0:59

you should have woken him up by sacking him :)

bkzfreshkidd 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 3:41

Wow...

jamjenni2774 0

Tuesday 12 January 2010 8:18

#37 GO TO HELL

Tishawna_fml 0

Wednesday 13 January 2010 2:33

wow you really suck

luckytim1 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 8:41

girl u must be so bad at this, more practise suggest I

DickGozinya 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 7:54

you must be a really horrible lay

notyou123 0

Thursday 21 January 2010 5:03

how did u mistake snores for moans? are u partially deaf?????

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Today, I realized I shouldn't have confessed anonymously to my long time crush through an anonymous account. I was so happy that they noticed me a little and made posts that seems directed to me, but then they just stopped. I'm so sad and craving their attention that I'm getting upset when I shouldn't be. FML

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You deserved it 923

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

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You deserved it 4 302

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I agree, your life sucks 4 097

You deserved it 1 685

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I agree, your life sucks 11 182

You deserved it 743

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I agree, your life sucks 13 541

You deserved it 35 012

Today, after being an "expert" in autism for over 40 years (yeah, I'm not a doctor, just autistic) I thought I'd seen it all. Bad relations, failed friendships and job interviews, etc. Now I find out there's such thing as a regress and I might completely lose the ability to talk. On top of that I'm losing my eyesight. Bummer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 113