Work: Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing...

By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 05:58 - Finland

Today, our new boss banned coffee from the workplace, comparing caffeine to hard drugs. His comparison may not be wrong; after two hours, I couldn't take it any more, and in between fantasising about his cold-blooded murder, I begged to be allowed just one last cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 484

You deserved it 5 068

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Same thing different taste

By koletatlow19 - 05/03/2010 05:23 - Canada

Today, my boss fired me because I "didn't get the right kind of coffee beans." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 094

You deserved it 3 848

Wake me up before you go go

By asdfghjkl - 29/01/2022 01:59

Today, my boss made me come in at 10 a.m. instead of noon like he usually does. I’ve had nine cups of coffee and STILL can’t keep my eyes open. Why am I like this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 380

Whoops

By Anonymous - 12/11/2010 12:07 - Sweden

Today, I was late for work and got chewed out by my boss. To console myself I decided to drink a cup of coffee and a cup of tea. My work provides this for free. When I did, my boss told me that in fact it wasn't, nor has it ever been, free; all this time I've been stealing other people's coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 888

You deserved it 32 689

420 blaze it!

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 04:01

Today, according to my boss, he could cancel out the chill effect of pot brownies by mixing Red Bull into coffee. Somehow, I think his wastedness was still noticeable, since he fell asleep at an important meeting and our main investor pulled out, putting most of our jobs at risk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 94

Employee of the week

By Nathalieeeee - 13/09/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I tried to sip my coffee quietly during a quiet meeting. Instead, I inhaled it, started choking, and sprayed lukewarm coffee all over my notes, my shirt, and unfortunately, my boss. She didn’t say anything, but I’m pretty sure she hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 299

You deserved it 178

Nepotism rules

By SHIIIIITTTT - 10/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Houston

Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 225

You deserved it 1 797

By melons - 03/07/2013 09:09 - United Kingdom - Redditch

Today, the massive bogey that had been dangling precariously from my manager's nose for half an hour finally detached itself. Into my coffee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 130

You deserved it 5 308

Monday motivation

By UuuuUUUUhhgghghghGHh - 09/02/2013 17:21 - Kenya

Today, the office coffee machine was relocated next to my desk. My co-worker insists on making several cups of the stuff per day, but instead of drinking it, he stands next to me, audibly swishes it through his teeth, gargles, and drools it back into the cup. I retch every single time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 903

You deserved it 2 338

By Christinemh329 - 17/02/2012 06:22 - United States

Today, I had to have a word with my boss about how him coming into work drunk is probably not a very good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 785

You deserved it 2 517

It's me, it's Cathy, I've come home

By Not Cathy - 26/09/2025 03:00

Today, I stopped at a café before work and ordered a cappuccino. They called out, “Cathy?” I assumed it was mine, grabbed it, and left. Turns out Cathy likes her coffee with four espresso shots. By 10 a.m., I was vibrating and sending emails that read like manifestos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 531

Welshite 39

Monday 4 May 2015 0:19

Chocolate covered coffee beans are your friend. Tell your boss they are chocolate covered raisins, and you'll be left alone. No one sane likes raisins.

emmatheamazingx 17

Monday 4 May 2015 0:17

I see why he compared them now

Comments

Blkmoon 17

Monday 4 May 2015 5:42

I feel for you. I love my coffee, I would murder anyone who took the privilege away.

Tutetheblack 20

Monday 4 May 2015 5:42

That addiction though.

Futacy 29

Monday 4 May 2015 6:41

Caffeine is one helluva drug.

Glasshoney 9

Monday 4 May 2015 6:56

That's illegal actually

Futacy 29

Tuesday 5 May 2015 11:23

Is it illegal in Finland? Because that's where OP's from.

meleelastyles 10

Monday 4 May 2015 7:11

New workplace may be in order. No point killing your and your coworkers' productivity supplement..

praesidiem 16

Monday 4 May 2015 7:25

I didn't know the Devil likes to dress up as new bosses and destroy the only good thing in the workplace. Good luck OP!

sassy2085 16

Monday 4 May 2015 7:31

Your boss is brave cutting caffeine does two things makes everyone snappy and crazy. It also cuts productivity tired workers and people off with migraines from caffeine withdrawals.

IAmReptarrrr 6

Monday 4 May 2015 8:12

Coffee is disgusting anyway.

Stillo 25

Monday 4 May 2015 9:43

wow, i could imagine my university days without coffee... uff, not something i'd ever be able to... let alone at work!! :o i' would help you cover for that muurder OP!!! :p