Miscellaneous: Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it...

By Anonymous - 03/05/2015 07:42 - United States - Annapolis

Today, I pulled a piece of dental floss out of my ass. How it got there is one of life's great mysteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 412

You deserved it 5 056

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Same thing different taste

By Ilovelife07 - 19/09/2009 04:47 - United States

Today, I went out to lunch on my break. When I got back to work, I noticed I had something in my teeth. After trying to get it out with my tongue, I finally went to my car for some floss. I ended up pulling a 4 inch pube out of my back teeth. It certainly wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 721

You deserved it 9 582

By ydahs - 08/05/2009 21:17 - United States

Today, while in the hot tub with my friends, my gum fell out of my mouth and I had no idea where it went. Later that night I realized it had fallen down my swimsuit and had become adhered to my pubic hairs which then stuck to my underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 759

You deserved it 19 606

By Genuine D - 13/05/2017 08:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I pulled a white cloth with string on the end from my dog's mouth. I then realized I was holding my sister's used tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 484

You deserved it 431

By WearingSomethingStringy - 10/04/2013 00:02 - United States - Cranston

Today, I noticed a stray string on a seam of my pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later, I realized it looked like I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 176

You deserved it 12 090

By fuckalltwitardsintheface - 20/09/2012 21:34 - United States - Lindsey

Today, I went to a new dentist because I've been experiencing occasional toothache. Upon seeing my x-rays, he noticed something odd. Apparently, during a root canal a while ago, a piece of an instrument broke off, and has been lodged within ever since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 573

You deserved it 1 701

By Idiot says "HIPAA violation" - 27/06/2015 01:21 - United States - Roanoke

Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 319

You deserved it 2 563

By lalalasmiles06 - 04/09/2010 03:47

Today, I put a tampon in. The string broke. I had to go to the hospital to get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 952

You deserved it 7 250

By i fking love docb - 04/11/2012 21:16 - Virgin Islands, U.S. - Christiansted

Today, I watched my girlfriend slowly floss her teeth, and then eat what showed up on the floss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 767

You deserved it 3 335

By anonymous - 17/07/2013 04:48 - United States - Katy

Today, I had to pull one of those toy stretchy hands out of my dog's butthole. It slapped me in the face when I finally got it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 645

You deserved it 7 399

By Anonymous - 10/09/2011 05:57 - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 228

You deserved it 4 305

KatieKoala 19

Monday 4 May 2015 0:19

It's almost like a thong, . . . butt floss

rieebee 23

Monday 4 May 2015 0:18

Sleep-eating? For that minty fresh ass...

Comments

Jthewat 22

Monday 4 May 2015 0:17

But how did you find it?

Bubbiesss 11

Monday 4 May 2015 1:22

Should we really ask that

annie_zoo 27

Monday 4 May 2015 1:22

most likely when she went to wipe her butt after a dump

psychopolarbear 28

Monday 4 May 2015 2:12

I want to know how she is certain that it's dental floss

uncle_ssaamm 12

Monday 4 May 2015 3:18

ewwwww

bluefairy_fml 24

Monday 4 May 2015 8:20

#42 Exactly! Maybe it's some kind of anal parasite/worm.

SwagBasket 10

Monday 4 May 2015 8:30

Hey it's a girl she might of mistaken it for a tampon

MrsPegg 45

Monday 4 May 2015 8:36

93, I surely hope you're just trolling. Because if not, I have pity on you for your blatant ignorance.

swanheart 35

Monday 4 May 2015 15:28

#95 - you don't get anal periods either? What lucky ducks we are! I feel sorry for all the other women out there with double periods...

PurpleMyth 28

Monday 4 May 2015 17:05

In her butt?...

hambro 9

Monday 4 May 2015 22:28

@93 a tampon does not in fact get inserted into the rectum...

slithermein 5

Monday 4 May 2015 0:17

Maybe it all came back to bite you in the bum

theTravinator 21

Monday 4 May 2015 5:52

I'd imagine the partner of any dentist that has a butthole eating fetish would suffer from this

dakatabg 31

Monday 4 May 2015 0:18

Wow, it id really a mystery

nickaa827 13

Monday 4 May 2015 6:32

#43, Typos. They happen. :)

rieebee 23

Monday 4 May 2015 0:18

Sleep-eating? For that minty fresh ass...

incoherentrmblr 21

Monday 4 May 2015 4:43

Too bad she didn't use Orbits Toilet paper. "Orbits Toilet Paper...Cleans another dirty ass..."

CODplayer4lyfe 24

Monday 4 May 2015 5:02

#63 you tried too hard

ShatteredPulse 15

Monday 4 May 2015 12:43

Then why did you get smashed by downvotes?

dcam13 19

Monday 4 May 2015 17:08

you realize no matter how much you floss it you'll still have a cavity, right?

Wizardo 33

Monday 4 May 2015 0:18

Gives minty fresh another meaning. "I floss everyday but I ain't a dentist".

Nasir_Jones 12

Tuesday 5 May 2015 3:30

Ya whole style and approach I invented.

Welshite 39

Monday 4 May 2015 0:18

Your colon needs to be squeaky clean too.

PePziNL 20

Monday 4 May 2015 3:10

"That fresh smell of your boyfriends colon"

man_in_black08 28

Monday 4 May 2015 0:19

Just hope ur brother doesnt use that floss thinking it was his, like he thought he could use any toothbursh he finds

Smooth_Criminal 24

Monday 4 May 2015 6:51

I could have sworn that floss is thrown away after each use.

swanheart 35

Monday 4 May 2015 22:59

Either that or op has been walking round with a packet of floss hanging round down there and not noticed!

KatieKoala 19

Monday 4 May 2015 0:19

It's almost like a thong, . . . butt floss

ArturoRamirez 16

Monday 4 May 2015 6:12

This comment made my day.

Nilorak 24

Monday 4 May 2015 0:20

Kinky. ;)

dagarr 11

Monday 4 May 2015 0:21

That must be a pain in the ass

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You deserved it 228

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I agree, your life sucks 34 794

You deserved it 12 825

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I agree, your life sucks 31 561

You deserved it 6 085

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I agree, your life sucks 56 513

You deserved it 6 133

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I agree, your life sucks 40 541

You deserved it 4 842

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I agree, your life sucks 39 875

You deserved it 6 744

Same thing different taste

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