Animals: Today, our dog peed on nearly all the wrapped gifts under our...

@rulezdunmatter #143/141 - Thanks! I hope to see more FMLs from me too. My previous 99 FMLs only got seen by the moderators (anyone who clicks "Moderate the FMLs" at the top of every page here).

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Today, I realized that I have an odd habit of plucking the tiny white hairs on my upper lip when I am overly stressed. But only the right side. I noticed when examining my face and seeing they'd all come back black. I've got half a mustache. I'm female. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 468

You deserved it 654

Today, I was watching TV with my grandma. I said aloud, "Dang, that actor is hot." My grandma pointed out he was a spitting image of my cousin. I realized she was right, and that I may as well be attracted to my own cousin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 963

You deserved it 3 864

Today, I woke up at 3am to catch my flight back home, only to realize that my flight was pushed back 14 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 729

You deserved it 504

Today, I decided to not go to a strip club for the second Saturday in a row, because I didn't want to appear desperate in front of the strippers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 382

You deserved it 23 454

Today, our boat broke down in the middle of a lake at sunset. We called our friend for help, and his truck and trailer got stuck in mud at the boat ramp. We called the sheriff's office to tow his vehicle out of the mud. The tow strap broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 651

You deserved it 159

Today, after having toothaches for about two years, which persisted even after I had the crack in my tooth repaired, I went to a different dentist and it turns out that the actual culprit is a hole in the neighboring tooth, which has had years to grow, unnoticed under the edge of my gums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 74