Miscellaneous: Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had... - FML

By adam - 03/02/2010 20:10 - France

Today, my mom woke me up and asked if I wanted breakfast. I had passed out naked on the kitchen floor after a party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 088

You deserved it 40 715

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Same thing different taste

By ahhhhhh - 12/02/2015 17:23 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I made my mom breakfast in bed for her birthday. She was naked when I went to give it to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 654

You deserved it 6 508

By Anonymous - 29/12/2009 18:52 - Canada

Today, my mom informed me that she saw me sleepwalking last night. I didn't think much of it, until I remembered that I went to bed without any clothes on last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 582

You deserved it 6 882

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 3 292

By Anonymous - 28/05/2009 17:44 - United States

Today, I woke up fully clothed, trying to remember the night's events. I walk to the den to awkwardly ask my dad for a ride to my car and he points to the computer. A pic of me passed out on the bathroom floor is now our new wallpaper. My skirt was around my knees. He sent it to everyone we know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 016

You deserved it 25 929

Just a question

By Anonymous - 14/12/2019 14:00

Today while I was about to go into the shower, my mom walked in on me while I was naked. She looked down and asked me if I was cold. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 090

You deserved it 262

By feartheend511 - 19/08/2010 15:48 - United States

Today, while my friends were over, my mom took too many of her pills and walked around the house nude. She then bit me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 186

You deserved it 3 661

Lost

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I went to a party with a friend. All I remember is passing out on the couch. About 10 minutes ago, I was woken up by a bucket of cold water and thrown out by the guy who lives there. I'm still dripping and very cold, and I have no idea where the hell I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 965

You deserved it 8 738

By CK95 - 01/01/2015 23:02 - United States

Today, I woke up after a night of New Year's Eve partying. I remember the night going great. What I don't remember is laying naked in the shower while my girlfriend ran water over my body to make me feel better. I also made my own funeral plans because I was convinced I was going to die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 846

You deserved it 8 059

By BoomHeadshot - 02/05/2012 02:27 - Australia

Today, I was trying to sneak home from a party. Instead, I head-butted a glass door and woke my mother up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 638

You deserved it 32 871

By :( - 27/01/2014 22:31 - Algeria

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 279

You deserved it 62 422

Next

Top comments

Freeze_fml 16

Thursday 4 February 2010 0:56

Tell her you already had eggs sunny side up.

LMA0 5

Thursday 4 February 2010 0:55

Haha awkward! :p

Comments

snak1590 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:08

can I see

louie111887 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:12

dude. u just made my day : ). awesome lol

jordan14011 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:13

ha are u a girl and are you hot

bigp9 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:13

that's so ******* sick tour parents are hella cool

Yatta_fml 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:35

I dunno about you, but that's a pretty awesome wake up -- considering it's from your mom, who I imagine in most cases would have breakfast as the last question for you.

gabrielsayshi 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:45

epic mom win. thats all i have to say...

adog5 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 2:48

haha loser

BrettFavreisgod 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 3:03

I'm Ron Burgundy?

crimson46 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 3:08

hahah I heard that before

Kockdiesel 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 3:17

did you give her your sausage?

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Today, I realized that the guy that I've liked for the past 7 months is actually a girl. I've told all my friends about how much I like him, but no one bothered to tell me that he's actually a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 745

Today, I had to fire a line cook. While walking through the kitchen, I noticed a cut on his hand. When I demanded to know why it wasn’t bandaged and gloved, he scoffed and said "Real men don’t need that shit! Bandaids are for pussies!” Who knows how much of the kitchen this moron contaminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 190

You deserved it 90

Today, I was ranting to my friend on the phone about my toxic ex, calling him a “walking red flag with a God complex.” Mid-sentence, she cut me off, saying, “Uh… you're on speaker. He’s in the car with me.” He chimed in with, “I mean… fair enough.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 473

You deserved it 138

Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally installed an indoor pool" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 446

You deserved it 54

Today, I found out that pretending to be a bum begging for money can get you stuck in a jail cell for a few hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 3 960

Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 026

You deserved it 48 152