Work: Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time...

By blakeintheoffice - 08/08/2012 13:53 - United States

Today, my insane boss decided I poop too much. Now, every time I go to the bathroom, he follows me in and tries to get me to hurry up by reading passages from 50 Shades of Grey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 501

You deserved it 3 730

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Same thing different taste

Germaphobe

By AFSDALK:AFSDQWE - 23/11/2013 18:33 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 145

You deserved it 3 804

Skill issue

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I walked into the restroom at work to see my boss standing at the urinal, pissing like a toddler. He had his pants around his ankles, ass fully exposed. Now I'm never going to be able to take anything he says seriously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 729

You deserved it 1 924

By Username - 21/03/2012 17:10 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, my boss recognized my shoes under the stall wall and had a conversation with me while we were both taking a dump. I had severe diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 419

You deserved it 2 346

Make your mind up

By Jason Brazil - 13/08/2019 14:00

Today, my boss threatened to fire me because I'm unproductive, and haven't been doing anything. He doesn't tell me what to do, and expects me to read his mind. When I ask him what he wants me to do, he gets pissed and says that I should already know what to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 905

You deserved it 469

Not now, mate

By yuen - 16/06/2009 14:59 - Australia

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 minutes. I stayed in there even though I'd finished shitting after 5 minutes, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 640

You deserved it 4 743

By teaspoonzz - 25/10/2017 15:00

Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 678

You deserved it 293

By NoPrivacy - 26/04/2012 10:44 - United States

Today, my boss overheard me singing, "I need a shit, I need a shit" on my way to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 176

You deserved it 34 755

Planning ahead

By Ma_Nikka - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Olivehurst

Today, my boss called me in to have a serious talk. The "serious talk" was him asking me to notify him of my menstrual cycle ahead of time so he can "avoid that shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 664

You deserved it 3 035

By DingusGinger - 21/04/2019 02:00

Today, I found out my boss likes to shit talk about me when I'm not around. The best part is that I don't know what I've done to piss him off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 072

You deserved it 167

America, fix your bathroom stalls

By Anonymous - 11/10/2024 06:00 - United States - Denver

Today, my boss overheard me in a bathroom stall talking about how much I hate my job and couldn’t stand him. He didn’t say a word, I hadn't even heard him come in, I just noticed him staring silently at me through the crack in the stall, before leaving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92

You deserved it 666

sidewaysponytail 0

Wednesday 8 August 2012 18:55

Maybe you should file a claim....

Savner 16

Wednesday 8 August 2012 19:10

50 shades of grey is a poorly written **** book based off of the characters in twilight that romanticizes abusive relationships. Yeah great book ._.

Comments

BobbieH 19

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:33

That's illegal in more ways that one, FYL!

metalmods94 8

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:36

Really? I poop too much :D

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:38

That's not legal. It's harassment.

harisonschmit 3

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:48

Wow, thats dumb, just... Just dumb.

outoftown 26

Wednesday 8 August 2012 21:28

Dumb and harassment. "Hello, HR? I need your advice on a rather odd problem with my boss...."

goose12321 11

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:51

Hahahaha well it works doesn't it?

bigbadtim 7

Wednesday 8 August 2012 20:53

50 Shades of Grey would scare the shit out of me.

Grimase 10

Wednesday 8 August 2012 21:04

You need to record it happening. Then tell HR about it. He is basically reading soft **** while at work. That will be one hell of a law suit.

soldier249 5

Wednesday 8 August 2012 21:08

Rub one out noisily

trucker67 10

Wednesday 8 August 2012 21:09

I'm a boss - if any of my employees takes a lot of bathroom breaks I delicately discuss the situation with my employee because I am Paying people to Work and not to sit around . If you are taking excessive Bathroom breaks go talk to your doctor , I think your boss is an idiot for doing what he's doing but it's his way of saying he wants more productivity from you .