Miscellaneous: Today, my husband thought it would be funny to wear a clown mask...

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By laurenkaiser98 - 20/05/2016 21:27 - United States

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to wear a clown mask and scare me in the shower while i was shaving my legs..guess who has to get stitches

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CraZCanuck 13

Sunday 22 May 2016 6:49

Really had you in stitches, his little joke....

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CraZCanuck 13

Sunday 22 May 2016 6:49

Really had you in stitches, his little joke....

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

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Today, I realised that I keep both Naruto collecting cards and a condom in the same pocket of my wallet. Nothing says sexy quite like dropping a bunch of Gaara cards before getting it on. FML

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vote type 1 1 195

Today, my 14-year-old sister asked me how I felt when I first had sexual intercourse. I told her it was personal and was none of her business. She then looked at me and said, "I thought it was nice." I'm 19 and I'm still a virgin. FML

agreeclassic 54 350

vote type 1 6 482

Today, I walked into my barbershop and told the owner to, “Give me the Jamie Lannister” (from Game of Thrones). The barbershop was silent, except for one loud laugh. Coming from my ex. She'd followed me in. FML

agreeclassic 115

vote type 1 610

Today, my mother refuses to believe I’m gay because I’m too handsome. Apparently only really ugly men can be gay, because they’re too ugly to get women, and choose to date other ugly guys instead. I can’t believe I came out of that bigoted, racist, scumbucket's womb. The thought makes me sick. FML

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vote type 1 441

Today, I got a gift from my wife. It was a beautiful watch. The same exact watch I'd sold to our local jewelers for 6k. She bought it for 10k. When I told her, she said, "Hmmm, I thought it looked familiar." There goes 4K from our joint account. I could’ve thought of 4000 ways to spend that money. FML

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vote type 1 690

Today, I was discussing with my husband how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?". He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

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