Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted...

By Jackedup - 18/05/2011 07:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 713

You deserved it 4 987

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Same thing different taste

By baron - 01/06/2009 17:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. We haven't had sex yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131 736

You deserved it 7 583

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 784

You deserved it 3 666

By Anonymous - 22/06/2013 07:31 - United States - Piedmont

Today, my girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex for the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 850

You deserved it 51 399

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 937

You deserved it 8 714

By BabyDaddy - 30/05/2010 08:05 - Australia

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of five months is pregnant. Apparently, she stopped taking her pill two months ago because "we" wanted a baby. I don't recall ever having that discussion with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 760

You deserved it 9 812

By captainuniverse - 14/05/2016 05:53 - United States - Nashville

Today, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant. She also said I'm going to be an uncle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 128

You deserved it 1 292

By doomed - 22/08/2009 17:46 - United States

Today, my fiancée, who believes in "sex after marriage" like me, told me she was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 506

You deserved it 6 713

By Anonymous - 29/08/2013 18:12 - United States - Mount Clemens

Today, my girlfriend freaked out, thinking she might be pregnant due to her period being late. I found myself reminding her that one actually has to have had sex recently to become pregnant. We've been living together, sexless, for over a year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 822

You deserved it 6 561

By that guy - 06/02/2015 16:56 - United States - Atascadero

Today, my girlfriend told her parents that she's pregnant. We have never even come close to having sex, but she told them I'm the father. Not only is my girlfriend cheating on me, but her father now wants me dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 960

You deserved it 3 162

Flip-flopping

By Brandenn J Moore - 11/07/2021 04:01

Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 041

You deserved it 98

Mehness 0

Wednesday 18 May 2011 16:06

She pulled a Mary on you.

iAmScrubs 19

Wednesday 18 May 2011 16:03

Dr. Phil will know the answer!

Comments

Szaszaspasz 26

Tuesday 4 September 2012 18:46

*Ex-girlfriend

AerBear115 15

Tuesday 11 September 2012 6:59

At least you weren't a horn dog and slept with her after only a month

nemcali 34

Monday 10 June 2013 2:05

Why were you with a moron to start with?

hiwazup_24 4

Tuesday 17 September 2013 4:31

Sorry for sleeping with her.

dccomics94 12

Sunday 16 March 2014 6:28

Get out of there. Get out of there now!

ohmiserableone 4

Tuesday 8 April 2014 7:33

This is not a FML, this is a blessing!

Thekbking 11

Saturday 5 July 2014 8:21

she a hoe nuff said. drop the bitch fast. no mercy for them cheaters

daemonsparta 16

Thursday 30 April 2015 11:17

bitch is obvioisly a shitty liar

TheLynx_fml 20

Saturday 5 December 2015 7:14

Wow she's such a **** she couldn't even keep track of everyone she's slept with. You should probably move on dude fyl

Tikmysta 20

Monday 16 May 2016 20:36

I've been there, worse I was in 6 months in another country... I should of known then

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, while sitting down on the dentist's chair, the tooth to be removed came out on its own. I still had to pay $50 for the cotton and advice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 867

You deserved it 780

Today, my wife is still refusing all forms of sex, because she thinks if she gets pregnant during lockdown, she’ll be the butt of all her friends' jokes about what people get up to to relieve the lockdown boredom. I know what I’d like to be getting up to right now to relieve my boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 057

You deserved it 349

Today, so you know how in the movies there’s a dad who discovers he’s not actually the dad because they had to get a DNA test, and it’s funny because it’s all just a movie. Real life isn’t that funny. My twin boys had to go to hospital for blood tests and so on, and it turns out they’re not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 76

Today, while putting a water bottle into the fridge, I suddenly had to sneeze. The force of my sneezing propelled my head against the open fridge door, causing a gushing wound to my forehead. Bless me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 129

You deserved it 3 612

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with my wife just to avoid to speak with my boring coworker. After two awkward minutes of him waiting in front of my desk and me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 581

You deserved it 53 756

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 674

You deserved it 4 152

Same thing different taste

Rollercoaster

Flip-flopping

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