Miscellaneous: Today, my girlfriend is as punctual as a German train; I woke...

By WakeUpToADream - 25/09/2015 20:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend is as punctual as a German train; I woke up to see her taking a dump into a plastic bag in our bedroom, all because my roommate was using the bathroom and she had to leave for work on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 297

You deserved it 1 984

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Same thing different taste

By coolhand - 29/08/2009 15:13 - United States

Today, I waited for my girlfriend to get in the shower before I stripped down to try and seduce her. I got ready, threw open the door and went in. I walked in on her taking a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 522

You deserved it 67 502

By poopydaddy - 03/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 899

You deserved it 5 666

By jester777 - 22/01/2011 17:39 - United States

Today, I sneaked into my girlfriend's house for some romantic time. Before going into her room, I took a dump in the bathroom. Once I was done, I not only noticed that there was no toilet paper left, but I heard her and her 6'5, heavyweight boxer, ex-marine father, talking outside the bathroom door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 558

You deserved it 49 455

By Countdown has begun - 16/05/2019 12:58

Today, my girlfriend took a crap in my swimming pool. Her excuse? She had to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 232

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 802

You deserved it 1 673

Powerful

By Noguestlist - 02/03/2011 08:16

Today, on the train, a cute girl gave me her number. After maybe half an hour, she went to her seat and I went to the toilet for a quick but loud and painful dump. I opened the door and saw her outside getting bitch-slapped by the smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 585

You deserved it 9 962

Cuteness overload

By Cpm - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 883

You deserved it 5 219

By pikachu - 20/01/2009 20:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend farted in her sleep, woke me up because it was so damn loud, and my room smelt like rotten noodles for about an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 604

You deserved it 4 551

By whatchagonnado - 24/03/2013 07:35 - Canada - Victoria

Today, while at my boyfriend's house, I needed to use the bathroom. I decided to be a good girlfriend and leave the seat up for him. He later yelled at me for not putting the seat down because he needed to take a dump. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 983

You deserved it 8 904

By Nico711 - 30/03/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were out to dinner. She had to use the bathroom, so she went, but the food came while she was in there. She came out, yelling at me for ordering the food to come that exact time, then she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 488

You deserved it 215

WCARlover 34

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:15

if only her boss knew the sacrifices she made

RitRit 20

Saturday 26 September 2015 15:11

Desperate times call for desperate measures!

Comments

SDamn 13

Saturday 26 September 2015 21:16

Time consuming. Haha

Basically_ 6

Saturday 26 September 2015 22:33

I've seen people do more desperate things to get to work on time. An old roommate of mine broke his car window with a brick when it auto-locked on him.

Red_Curls1995 28

Saturday 26 September 2015 23:16

Well obviously she's very dedicated to her work!

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 26 September 2015 23:27

There aren't two bathrooms? I can see her reasoning that's for sure a dire need

Witchylady 17

Sunday 27 September 2015 6:56

She is vulgar.

Matttis 7

Sunday 27 September 2015 8:19

Did you just use "German train" and "punctual" in the same sentence? What kind of dreamworld do you live in? XD I'm sitting in one right now and we already have a delay of art least 20 minutes :P

Xion0014 20

Sunday 27 September 2015 13:10

Well would you crap your pants waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom? I wouldn't. But she should've asked you to wait in the living room or something.