Intimacy: Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents....

By MIB thingy please... - 05/02/2015 01:21 - United States - Oregon City

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 020

You deserved it 5 578

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Same thing different taste

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 694

You deserved it 4 992

Pull up

By ohdeargodthatswrong - 09/01/2010 13:25 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when my dad pulled up to pick me up from his house. My dad beeped his horn and my boyfriend opened his bedroom curtain, knocked on the window, and waved. While he was still inside of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 511

You deserved it 6 211

By so_screwed - 25/09/2013 06:59 - United States - Salinas

Today, my one-night stand decided he wanted to meet my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 526

You deserved it 13 898

Love and threats

By soontobedumped - 15/01/2012 19:26 - United States

Today, I introduced my boyfriend of two weeks to my parents. My dad asked me to leave the room so they could have some "guy talk". I eavesdropped, only to hear the words "sex-crazed fuck" and a threat to stick bamboo shoots under my boyfriend's fingernails if he ever hurt me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 903

You deserved it 4 887

Thin walls

By xtilltheendx - 05/10/2020 20:08 - United States

Today, I had to have an awkward conversation with my parents when they told me they were able to hear me and my boyfriend having sex at night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 559

You deserved it 1 447

By sometingwong - 01/12/2011 20:32 - United States

Today, I had dinner at my girlfriend's house with her parents. Everything was going great, until after dinner when her dad pulled me aside and told me he'd heard us having sex. I was out of town all weekend for a baseball tournament. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 438

You deserved it 3 455

Scolded

By oopsies - 08/01/2010 01:07 - United States

Today, after having sexual intercourse with my boyfriend, we went downstairs to find his parents had come home early and had heard everything. I then received a long scolding from his mother of how I'd disrespected her house. My boyfriend received a high-five and a thumbs-up from his dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 101

You deserved it 5 478

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 124

You deserved it 74 107

By Anonymous - 22/05/2010 23:22 - United States

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, my dad called my cell. He ended the phone call with, "and tell your boyfriend to shut up, I can hear him moaning." FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 591

You deserved it 47 255

Method acting

By Anonymous - 09/02/2013 05:08 - United Kingdom - Frome

Today, I got permission from my parents for my boyfriend to stay over. Things got intimate, and I tried my hardest not to make too much noise. However, while having a post-sex cuddle, we heard my parents in the next room muttering about my "faking". FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 650

You deserved it 45 083

JMichael 25

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:30

And that's when your dad when into serial killer mode.

salamancer 11

Thursday 5 February 2015 17:31

As opposed to the inside of his penis???

Comments

LaurenRoxsU 9

Friday 6 February 2015 4:14

@78, I'M SORRY, But "If I ****** you, I wouldn't pull out." Is a line? Since when did that happen?!? My god, this world...just..no.

brittanysue 1

Friday 6 February 2015 4:44

so disrespectful

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Friday 6 February 2015 4:58

How...romantic? O.o

anabanana101 15

Friday 6 February 2015 6:32

he's so good at dirty talk... and timing things

sirrubberduckie 35

Friday 6 February 2015 6:53

#95, that's from an FML about 6 before this one.

toxicLover28 19

Friday 6 February 2015 8:58

Damn, either they have really good hearing or that "whisper" was a little too loud.

ouijacorn 9

Friday 6 February 2015 9:08

Even if your parents hadn't heard it, I maintain that is one of the creepiest lines I've ever heard.

rmllavaneras 19

Friday 6 February 2015 13:36

Totally! This goes beyond that Eminem song that says "I'm gonna get my hands down your pants." Still, not as bad as "I wanna fill up your belly with people."

sarah2144 14

Friday 6 February 2015 10:42

What a creepy thing to say.

Dean__Winchester 16

Friday 6 February 2015 12:05

Clearly it wasn't a good whisper if they heard. Who in the heck says that after meeting the parents, though?? C'MON! At least wait until they're out of the room and let them have a good impression for about a week