Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and... - FML

By Saradee - 24/12/2012 04:55 - United States - Inglewood

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend ended sex by yelling, "THIS IS SPARTA!" and using his foot to push me off the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 228

You deserved it 10 974

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Same thing different taste

This ain't working out

By just a reaction - 17/08/2020 23:09

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a heated argument. He raised his hand like he was going to hit me. Having been hit by my ex before, I panicked and instinctively kicked his legs out from under him. He then dumped me because he said he was just gonna scare me, but I used real violence on him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 098

You deserved it 343

Orders

By belljars - 18/04/2014 02:27 - United States - Riverside

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 270

You deserved it 9 167

Cool moves, bro

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 09:45

Spicy

Today, in an attempt to be sexy, my boyfriend picked me up and threw me down onto the bed. I fell straight through it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 390

You deserved it 5 700

Like in the movies

By alltern8ive - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 647

You deserved it 5 165

Kinky

By LaLa - 09/01/2012 05:01 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was with my boyfriend, and we started to get a little kinky. He laid me down roughly on the bed, but I started to slide off, so I pulled myself up. In doing so, I managed to knee him in the nut-sack, causing him to puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 815

You deserved it 7 888

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 751

You deserved it 6 029

Sensitive snowflake

By onepussytwopussy - 07/03/2014 19:47 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 450

You deserved it 26 543

By I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 214

You deserved it 4 649

Thunderstruck

By myasshurts - 14/10/2011 23:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, while lying in bed with my boyfriend after some steamy lovemaking, he sat up, slapped my ass with excruciating force, and screamed, "I AM THE THUNDER!" directly into my ear. It seems our senses of humor differ considerably. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 765

You deserved it 6 673

Are you experienced?

By still laughing - 28/08/2015 21:48 - United States - Providence

Spicy

Today, I was going down on my boyfriend when he stood up on the bed to get a different experience. I started to get aggressive and pushed him up against the wall. I forgot our bed was on wheels and the bed started sliding away and his body slid down the wall. So much for being sexy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 526

You deserved it 5 120

Next

Top comments

HeyHeyFishFillet 34

Monday 24 December 2012 9:38

Wear a chastity belt next time and scream," YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"

Roguedork19 8

Monday 24 December 2012 9:44

No, this is Patrick. O.o

Comments

Brenda_Bruno 1

Sunday 30 December 2012 5:54

"NO THIS IS PATRICK"

cphtgirl 5

Sunday 30 December 2012 6:19

did he at least look like gerald butler?

cowsaysmooo 16

Tuesday 1 January 2013 1:29

sweet

Steel_BZ 8

Monday 7 January 2013 12:50

Hahahaha!! Priceless!

Yolandababy2 14

Thursday 10 January 2013 16:03

lol that is so funny

spectrefml 6

Wednesday 23 January 2013 2:47

Bahaha

esthrrn 5

Monday 4 February 2013 22:25

300 is mu favorite movie, so if someone did that to me I probably wouldn't mind

swimmerman5 5

Thursday 28 February 2013 7:40

FYL but that's ******* hilarious

horazon 3

Monday 8 April 2013 13:25

wow... thats funny. but sucks for you at the same time

Jechtael 10

Thursday 2 May 2013 13:03

FYL, but you've got to admit that it's funny. If I were in your situation, I'd probably dump him amidst gales of laughter (because it's actually pretty hilarious) and tears (because OWWWW).

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, my boyfriend got angry because I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from being a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 826

You deserved it 11 833

Today, my girlfriend decided to be very naughty and placed her underwear in my backpack. I wish she had told me, because it slipped into a folder that contained my project data for my professor. So, after class, I got sent to the Dean of Students' office to talk about sexual harassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 389

You deserved it 3 317

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 870

You deserved it 4 859

Today, I work on a cruise ship, and I just learned that we have a morgue on board. How did I learn that? It's right next to the crew laundry room, and I opened the wrong door. It was occupied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 028

You deserved it 1 925

Today, my girlfriend was cooking dinner. To my horror, she took the chicken out and immediately began scrubbing it with dish soap. When I asked what the hell she was doing, she stared at me like I was insane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 120

Today, I was at a party. Trying to overcome my social anxiety, I was trying to take part in conversations. So, when a girl mentioned she had a doctor's appointment next morning, I blurted out: "What kind of a doctor?" Everyone stared as she responded: "A gynaecologist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 770

You deserved it 7 813