Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought home some expensive ice cream and we licked it off of each other. It was fun until we learned that dried ice cream on skin smells almost exactly like puke. FML
Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, and I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said “I wanted to try something new.” FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try something new in bed. He blindfolded me and I felt something cold on my lady parts. Five seconds later it started burning so I looked. He decided to use toothpaste because he couldn't find chocolate sauce to lick off. It hurts to pee. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 33
And what, pray tell, was this stupidity going to accomplish?
lizenhagen 11
why wouldnt you just take a hot bath?
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Comments (20)
Chantalle Hensgens-Waltmans 19
Next time, just light a candle and hold iT under the ice cubes 👌🏻
RichardPencil 30
You have a brain down there? That explains a lot!
BurnInDemonFire 35
Goddammit... why do women keep listening to Gwyneth Paltrow when she tells them to shove random things in their vaginas? Remember, she had Chris Martin in hers, so she's not the best person to listen to.
Sam Siggers 8
sounds like your boyfriend needs some sex lessons. perhaps next timenyou guys do that or something along those lines to put on a **** video that does that and follow them? if it doesnt feel good or right, he is doing something wrong.
Nhayaa 21
But... WHY? I'm so tired of human stupidity... 😧
merican_redneck4 11
The only way that should ever be done if you want that cold sensation have the boyfriend husband or what ever hold a ice cube in their mouth then have them go down on you