Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML
Today, my boyfriend brought home some expensive ice cream and we licked it off of each other. It was fun until we learned that dried ice cream on skin smells almost exactly like puke. FML
Today, I closed my eyes while my boyfriend was fingering me, and I felt a cold liquid inside me. I opened my eyes, and he was pouring yogurt into me. He said “I wanted to try something new.” FML
Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. It would have been great, if a mate of his didn't tell him to put Listerine strips in his mouth first "for the tingle." I've been running cold water over my burning genitals for 15 minutes while he laughs at the door. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try something new in bed. He blindfolded me and I felt something cold on my lady parts. Five seconds later it started burning so I looked. He decided to use toothpaste because he couldn't find chocolate sauce to lick off. It hurts to pee. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML
Today, I had to play the hot and cold game with my boyfriend until he found my clitoris. FML
Today, my husband and I had some bath time to ourselves. After having sex, he decided to put bath salts in my vagina to spice things up for the next round. It's been twenty minutes out of the bath and it still feels like there are pop rocks in my vagina. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML
Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend in bed after a round of amazing sex. He decided it would be a great time to stick his finger up my nose. FML
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Top comments
MidnaLink 33
And what, pray tell, was this stupidity going to accomplish?
lizenhagen 11
why wouldnt you just take a hot bath?
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Comments (20)
MidnaLink 33
And what, pray tell, was this stupidity going to accomplish?
lizenhagen 11
why wouldnt you just take a hot bath?
CoriCat 25
No offense love but that’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. That show “Sex Sent me to the ER” had an episode where this lady did something similar (with a popsicle) and had horrible frost bite. Ice is NOT SUPPOSED TO GO UP THERE!!
Ellie Mc Ivor 10
wtf kind of stupid shit was this? stupidness at its finest
jbuckets_404 38
Gee, didn't you try pouring in hot, boiling water after the first one or two ice cubes to melt 'em instead? [Face-palm.] (Good thing they're not parents ... yet - hopefully....) Apparently, reading the fine print isn't yet a forte of theirs. Sheesh!
Fang713 28
Excuse me, what now??
404wan 19
Seriously, anyone who's put their lips in a popsicle without licking it first knows the pain of getting your lips fronzen. Why the **** would you do that and why the hell would you just let him stick more than one up there? Like... What was the point of that? What's the objectieve in just filling you up with ice? Since there's no way to have sex... I guess the ice dispenser on his fridge was broken!
Sady_Ct 37
Buhahahahaha, my husband and I LOVE this trick, but we only use a cube or two at a time. FYSL girl.
jkjorn 16
Care to explain to the uninitiated what exactly that does for you & the hubby? I haven't heard of this before and it doesn't sound pleasant.
Sady_Ct 37
Sure, it changes temperature and thus it feels different. The heat vs the cold. It’s very pleasant but again only a cube or two at a time and be gentle.
Cody Vertigo Bonthoux 15
run em through water next time then they won't stick
zoelog 10
seriously. they got stuck? just push..
Retsilla 5
Unfortunately that won't work, the skin in that region is extremely sensitive and ice easily sticks to the skin there, much like getting your tongue stuck to an icy pole