Today, I was pulled over because I looked like a possible suspect for a robbery. While searching me, the police's radio went off and the person on the other line said, "Possible suspect, 5'5", thin" - the officer stopped right then and murmured, "too short and fat" and walked back to his car. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I got pulled over, not because I was speeding but because apparently, I looked like a kid driving. The officer said I was too short to drive and needed a booster seat. FML
Today, I almost got arrested. The cops put me in handcuffs without searching me first and told me that I "matched" the description of a package thief. Turns out, I didn't even closely fit the description of the suspect. FML
Today, I was pulled over. The cop stated that he "couldn't see" me because I had "blended in with the dark car background", and that it looked like no one was driving. I was literally pulled over for being black. FML
Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML
Today, I parked next to a police officer's car in a bad part of town. When I got out, I saw a bag of pot on the ground between the cop's car and mine. When I pointed it out to him, he insisted it was mine and interrogated me to the point of tears. FML
Today, at work, there was a police officer waiting for me. Bewildered, I asked what the problem was. Someone had shot fireworks at cars in the parking lot and I was a suspect. Why? Ponytails on men apparently look suspicious. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I started fixing my hair and unbuttoning a couple of buttons on my shirt, hoping the policeman would let me off with a warning. When he got to the car, he rolled his eyes and muttered something under his breath. I saw him walk back to the cop car gagging. FML
Today, I was at work when two sheriff's deputies walked in. They asked me my name and when I told them, they asked me to turn around and they cuffed me. They told me I was under arrest for robbery. Turns out I was mistakenly IDed, but now every one at my job thinks I'm an armed robber. FML
Today, as a joke, I hopped in the front seat of a police cruiser and took a cute selfie while the officer was talking to someone on the sidewalk. A minute later, he dragged me to the ground and arrested me. Um… what? FML
Today, the police posted a description of the car of a child abductor. As everyone slowed down to read the billboard, I realized that the car's description and license plate were very similar to mine. After getting death stares from passengers, I got pulled over. Twice. FML
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Top comments
DamnGoodTimes 0
At least you're not a suspect anymore?
allieg 0
...wouldn't not being a suspect in a robbery be a GOOD thing?
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Comments (63)
Sulk 0
Hey, why should the police be exempt from social mores all of sudden? Everyone knows in our current climate of Kate Moss, size 0, heroin chic et al, "skinny" really means "malnourished" and "anorexic".
interventions 1
you'd rather be a criminal than short and fat??
ckallander 0
You all assume that if he did match the profile he would automatically be guilty. How many people are 5'5'' and thin? Answer: more than one.
Endymion_fml 0
Phew, lucky break for you, huh?
neonoodle 0
#3: Really? You'd report that? I'm sure the cops have nothing better to do with their time than apologize for hurting this man's feelings. Your oversensitivity is part of the problem with today's society, where every child has to go home with a trophy so their feelings don't get hurt, and everyone gets a gold star, and red markers can't be used to grade tests because they're too intimidating. Go join the real world, and please don't sue me for saying so.
johnishotsauce 0
#16: Really? You being a douche is part of the problem with today's society. See what i did there?
keigangale 0
Stop being a puss.
greatnt249 0
#14, no, but if he did match the profile he probably would have been hauled in for questioning. My point is that instead of whining about being called chubby, he should be glad he didn't have to do more to prove his innocence.
819 1
Calm down, people. It's an FML cause not only was (s)he almost arrested, which sucks in itself, but then he got called fat. Double whammy. That's all it is.
woody_fml 0
Well OP, you were too short and too fat to fit the suspect's description. The only issue is that the officer didn't sugar-coat the facts about the difference.
alex_vik 0
#16 - +1 for you # 17 - -1 for you