Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized...

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 813

You deserved it 5 732

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Same thing different taste

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 412

You deserved it 5 769

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 346

You deserved it 2 779

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 811

You deserved it 4 453

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 569

You deserved it 6 500

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 18:39 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 816

You deserved it 4 491

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 520

You deserved it 5 248

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 693

You deserved it 69 184

Automaton

By Jessie - 25/12/2010 13:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 748

You deserved it 9 569

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 686

You deserved it 2 160

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 930

You deserved it 354

theneatoburrito 8

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:45

Well show him you enjoy making airplane sound effects as you leave the bedroom.

spike1994 2

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:49

You know what would really drive him wild? Shave a landing strip for him.

Comments

oisi 1

Monday 6 March 2017 12:44

Would be interesting to know if he is older or younger than 12. Anyways, WEIRD!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 544

You deserved it 12 534

Today, a guy from work that I barely know gave me sunflowers for my birthday. He told me, "You mentioned they were your favorite." I mentioned it to my family at home a few days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 220

You deserved it 4 571

Today, to be kind, I gave away my tickets for an electronic music event I could no longer attend to a Facebook stranger. Later, they told me they were refused at the door. Turns out the pdf I'd received from the ticketing system contained some placeholder values and invalid QR data. And this happened on April 1st. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 152

Today, I finally came out to my family as a lesbian. My grandma then told me I'm just going through a phase because I finally realized I'm not pretty or skinny enough to get a man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 664

You deserved it 7 230

Today, my mother told me that I "should have never had children" after I sided with my son when he yelled at her for talking too loudly. I have hyperacusis, and my son has sensory deprivation disorder. My mom knows this, and blames it on her friends who are hard of hearing. Nothing is ever her fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 046

You deserved it 165

Today, at work, I was reprimanded for not engaging with customers enough. In an effort to be more friendly, I complimented the next customer on her interesting accent. Turns out it was from a stroke she had last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 248

You deserved it 6 218