Intimacy: Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized...

By kblevss - 05/01/2013 09:21 - United States - Bayville

Today, I was having sex with my new boyfriend, and I realized that he enjoys making airplane sound effects while inserting himself inside of me. Moment ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 813

You deserved it 5 732

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Same thing different taste

By S…… - 09/01/2011 10:18 - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. He decided to make gun sound effects as he came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 412

You deserved it 5 769

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 346

You deserved it 2 779

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 811

You deserved it 4 453

What a Q-tip

By Anonymous - 25/06/2013 16:21 - United States - Flowery Branch

Today, I heard my boyfriend making the same noises while cleaning out his ears as the ones he makes whenever we have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 569

You deserved it 6 500

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 18:39 - Australia - Perth

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 816

You deserved it 4 491

Honky

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 520

You deserved it 5 248

Actor's Studio

By darthmilfious - 31/03/2010 07:56 - France

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was making a list of things to do tomorrow while faking an orgasm when I realize my boyfriend had finished about two minutes ago. He's pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 693

You deserved it 69 184

Automaton

By Jessie - 25/12/2010 13:38 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 748

You deserved it 9 569

By Anonymous - 14/12/2018 14:00

Today, after weeks of no sex, my boyfriend finally decided to have sex with me. While we were getting into it I accidentally farted in his face while his mouth was open. No more sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 686

You deserved it 2 160

Pick your moments, dude!

By Anonymous - 11/10/2019 00:01

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a romantic night. As we were having sex, he decided to say, "Look mom, no hands!" and it totally ruined the mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 930

You deserved it 354

theneatoburrito 8

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:45

Well show him you enjoy making airplane sound effects as you leave the bedroom.

spike1994 2

Saturday 5 January 2013 17:49

You know what would really drive him wild? Shave a landing strip for him.

Comments

cappellaaa 23

Sunday 6 January 2013 6:03

bahaha that's awesome

jem970 19

Sunday 6 January 2013 6:24

Thank you 16 for making me laugh like crazy

DAN_THA_GR8 12

Sunday 6 January 2013 6:49

Cancel his flight ! Or Delay it till he grows up

colinwis 3

Sunday 6 January 2013 7:48

Don't be such a Wh@re.. Get to know him more and make him work for it or ur gunna be disappointed

JustAGirlOnFML 11

Sunday 6 January 2013 8:08

When he's about to enter, make a crashing sound and say, "Sorry, the plane has crashed. Sex will be cancelled today."

veet 2

Sunday 6 January 2013 8:43

Seriously get over your self

Inovermyhead12 1

Sunday 6 January 2013 12:37

I like to say banana poke while I enter I think it's funny watch Matt Williams pimp chronicles

trinityfagan 5

Sunday 6 January 2013 19:34

Dump him

heatheru 5

Sunday 6 January 2013 22:25

he is avoiding intimacy.

WcED 8

Sunday 6 January 2013 23:30

New boyfriend? how fast do you give it up?

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my roommate showed me that her pepper spray had expired, so I decided to test it on myself. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 289

You deserved it 79 749

Today, my grandma's chihuahua was run over while I was taking her for a walk. She later whispered to me, "It should have been you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 053

You deserved it 8 105

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I agree, your life sucks 41 418

You deserved it 2 728

Today, after waiting for 13 years, Avatar 2 got a release date. We tried to hide it from my dad, because he went totally blind a few months ago, and now he'll never see it. Somehow he found out about it. He didn't cry when he went blind, but he cried today when he realised he'll never see Pandora again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 687

You deserved it 142

Today, I got dressed up for the first time in days to go have sushi with a friend. When I walked out to my car, I noticed that the passenger window was shattered and the car robbed. What's worse is I'd forgotten to lock the side doors anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 875

You deserved it 6 012

Today, my professor stated that every student who had perfect attendance would be exempt from taking the final. Having perfect attendance so far, I was thrilled. Then come to find out I have jury duty the day before the exam; she won't excuse my absence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 537

You deserved it 144