Miscellaneous: Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I...

By Anonymous - 24/07/2013 20:56 - United States - South Hadley

Today, I was buying condoms but was a little embarrassed so I went to the self-check. I scanned the condoms, then a magazine and tried to put the condoms under the magazines to hide them. The store guy saw me, thought I was shoplifting and I was kicked out of the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 868

You deserved it 15 953

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Same thing different taste

I hate these machines

By Mortified - 31/07/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, the self-checkout machine at the grocery store kept yelling, “PLEASE PLACE ITEM IN BAGGING AREA” while I frantically tried to scan everything. An employee came over and said a bit too loudly, “Ma’am, you have to scan the condoms before bagging them.” Of course there were people around to giggle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 426

By useless pos - 01/03/2013 00:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I went out to buy a bottle of wine and some condoms. As the cashier scanned the condoms, she snickered and muttered, "Yeah right." She was right; I really was just desperate to look like I have a sex life. I got so upset that I left my items and walked out with tears in my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 321

You deserved it 12 404

Who are you to judge?

By vertigoisarat - 23/02/2021 08:01 - United States

Today, I went to the drug store to pick up a few things. After looking for condoms for 15 minutes, I asked the cashier where I could find them. She said they keep them behind the counter due to theft. She refused to sell them to me, because they're for customers who might actually need them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 218

You deserved it 168

Running commentary

By well crap... - 21/06/2020 14:18

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 205

You deserved it 230

Misunderstood

By fuck - 18/03/2015 17:40 - Netherlands

Today, I went to the store to buy some condoms. I couldn't find them anywhere, so I nervously asked a staff member for help. She scowled, pointed at the shelf directly behind me, and told me to, "Get a life. Or better pick-up lines." I'll never live down the snickers from the other customers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 804

You deserved it 4 116

The cat's out of the bag

By Anonymous - 26/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, I was shopping with my husband. At the self-checkout, one of the items I was buying for him as a gift didn’t register. As we were walking out, I get stopped and escorted to the loss prevention office, where I was accused of stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 400

Classic mistake

By 暂不提供 - 02/08/2025 21:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I realized I'd lost my wallet when paying for groceries. I had to put all the items back and leave the store feeling so embarrassed in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 434

You deserved it 103

Acting kinda sus

By sailinggsoul - 02/08/2019 00:01

Today, I bought a box of tampons and went to the store restroom to insert one. I then put the box inside my purse. On my way out, I got stopped by security, who yelled at me to empty my purse. He grabbed my bag, spilling the tampons everywhere. Apparently, he thought I was stealing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 956

You deserved it 178

Help!

By clip_kate - 01/07/2016 02:36

Today, I went to the store, but after I'd selected my items, I saw that I'd forgotten my wallet. When I tried to explain to the cashier, he thought that I was trying to steal and called the cops. My roommate had to come to the store to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 323

You deserved it 1 408

STOP!

By What's that beeping noise?? - 02/10/2025 12:00

Today, at a self-checkout, I scanned all my items, bagged them, and left. Only when I got outside did I realize I had completely forgotten to pay. I then noticed that security was running to stop me, and I had to explain that I wasn’t a thief, just an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 121

KBurns207 17

Thursday 25 July 2013 8:14

Dude if you're too embarrassed to just buy some condoms, you're probably too young. Just man up and buy them... Sorry but YDI man.

doodieman 9

Thursday 25 July 2013 8:16

If you scanned them, couldn't he just look at the screen?

Comments

termin8tor786 10

Thursday 25 July 2013 9:15

Dumbass!!

Ambiguous404 6

Thursday 25 July 2013 9:20

U dnt need condomz if u hve swag lulz

chuka81 27

Thursday 25 July 2013 10:22

I wish I could downvote this comment, twice.

RadeonDerp 24

Thursday 25 July 2013 13:35

You, #30, are one of the dumbest ******* idiots I have ever seen, and I hope you fall off a cliff. I'm sure I'm not the only one who thinks this, too. Using swag as an excuse to not have safe intercourse? You dumb bastard.

CharresBarkrey 15

Thursday 25 July 2013 14:21

Holy mother of ****. Kill it. Kill it before it reproduces.

TheDrifter 23

Thursday 25 July 2013 16:16

But Alan, it's more fun to pretend he was serious.

Iknoweverything 29

Thursday 25 July 2013 17:23

Even if it WAS satire, the fact that he used the word "swag" is justification enough to thumb him down, if not forcibly sterilize him.

Kukua 5

Thursday 25 July 2013 20:38

Quit feeding the troll so it can't grow any stronger.

Sir_Swaggington 6

Thursday 25 July 2013 9:22

Why are you embarrassed to buy condoms? You're not embarrassed of having sex are you? YDI for being immature.

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Thursday 25 July 2013 16:45

Uhm I'm sure when the time comes that I'm sexually active, I'll be embarassed. I'm just a timid person. Always have been, always will be. That's no reason to say someone deserves it.