Health, Sleep, Wake up and Scary: Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock,... - FML

By Chris - 03/04/2011 17:41 - United States

Today, I was awoken by my dad yelling into my ear. In shock, I jumped up off the couch, and came smashing down into the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 673

You deserved it 4 135

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Same thing different taste

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 837

You deserved it 4 725

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 493

You deserved it 3 922

You're grounded!

By Break A Leg - 08/08/2022 14:00

Today, I accidentally slammed my leg against the coffee table. It was only after I went to the bathroom a few minutes later that I realized there's now a massive gash on my upper leg. I also got in trouble for yelling, "SON OF A BITCH!" as soon as the impact occurred. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 141

PIVOT!

By D.M - 29/09/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, while moving a couch and repeatedly asking my dad what he was trying to do and him ignoring me, I got my hand slammed between the corner of the couch and a doorway, because my dad shoved the couch without saying anything. I was holding the corner to stop it from falling on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 432

You deserved it 86

Thanks guys

By Anonymous - 29/04/2009 00:05 - Canada

Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 143

You deserved it 3 240

By Anonymous - 29/08/2015 17:08 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, I blacked out while hugging my dad. I woke up a minute later on the floor with my dad telling me to, "quit being lazy and get up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 272

You deserved it 1 563

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 190

By Karl - 21/02/2011 11:43

Today, I woke up and heard a noise coming from the kitchen. I went down stairs and saw a huge guy in there. I got a vase and hit him over the head, not realizing it was my mom's new boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 769

You deserved it 5 980

Shocking

By Anonymous - 02/08/2020 17:01

Today, I tried to hang up a light and, in my clumsiness, got shocked. My dad started screaming at me for yelling out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 280

You deserved it 240

Noise Annoys

By Anonymous - 22/08/2019 06:04

Today, at three in the morning, I rolled out of bed in my sleep, landing butt-first into my trash can and scraping my arm on my bedside table. I cleaned up the mess I'd made and tried to stop my arm from bleeding. During which, my dad banged on the door and told me to keep it down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 567

You deserved it 221

Next

Top comments

HowDidIGetHere 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 22:22

Time to get a new dad...

you_failed 15

Sunday 3 April 2011 22:23

Ouchies! But now you know what to do when he's taking a nap... :D

Comments

courtneychica 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 23:23

what does OP stand for

Helloiloveyou199_fml 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 23:33

That would make an awesome youtube video. Haha. Anyways, FYL, and hopefully you aren't hurt that bad. (I would say hopefully you aren't hurt, but that doesn't exactly seem possible)

varkey 7

Monday 4 April 2011 0:13

that really sucks... but it's not really his fault you smashed into the table (nor is it yours) FYL

shovels 0

Monday 4 April 2011 0:13

did you pay for the table??? i didn't think so...

girley1555 0

Monday 4 April 2011 0:01

lmao, dumb bitch:)

dabom392 4

Monday 4 April 2011 0:14

y would ur dad yell into ur ear?

TwatRot69 0

Monday 4 April 2011 8:55

Because he felt like it.

TheWorldGreatest 8

Monday 4 April 2011 0:31

OMG hope your alright .

rockybalboaaa_ 6

Wednesday 29 August 2012 14:55

* you're .

deadlymist1221 1

Monday 4 April 2011 1:55

what was he doing watching you sleep anyway :P creeper :P

jessiecstll 0

Monday 4 April 2011 2:04

your dads an ass lol

Uncouth 0

Monday 4 April 2011 3:53

Wait a week, and then antique him with a pound of flour in his sleep.

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Today, while on the bus, an elderly man fell asleep on my shoulder. He looked sweet, so I didn't push him off. A few minutes later, the bus jolted and his head slipped down into my breasts. I'm pretty sure you don't smile like that when you're really asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 057

You deserved it 7 295

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I agree, your life sucks 1 645

You deserved it 229

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I agree, your life sucks 11 119

You deserved it 75 557

Today, while opening up to a few friends about how I was sexually abused as a child, one of them blurted "Pics or it didn't happen." How did the others react? With outrage? No, just with awkward chuckling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 220

You deserved it 2 100

Today, I realized that my coach doesn't close the door and the blinds to perform half-naked body checks (to make sure his team is in shape) on anyone else but me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 722

You deserved it 4 837

Today, I got home after a spending a week recovery from surgery. My neighbour had been feeding my cat whilst I was away. Exhausted, I went straight to my bedroom where I soon discovered that my cat had shat on my pillows, duvet, and pyjamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 148