Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year-old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML
Collection
Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Same thing different taste
Today, I was with my friend and her entire family at a restaurant. While we were eating, her brother who is really cute asked what "brown sauce" is. I said thats probably 'penis' sauce. I'd meant to say 'peanut sauce' but the damage was done. The entire family just stared. FML
Tense dinner
Today, I went to dinner with my husband's family to celebrate our nephew's birthday. He spent the entire dinner flirting with his sister, then got offended when I said that his behavior was weird. FML
Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML
They hated her because she spoke the truth
Today, I threw a pillow at my 8 year-old cousin while play-fighting. She gave me a look, then muttered, "You don't have any girlfriends and the girls that talk to you probably have no taste." FML
Oh no…
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy, and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML
Today, I was at a big family reunion at my aunt's place. Before dinner, I went outside in the garden for a smoke. Through the kitchen window, I saw my cousin spit in the soup. Twice. My aunt patted his back and continued stirring. FML
Today, I had dinner with my boyfriend's family. His 3-year-old nephew came running for a hug. At the last second, he darted past my arms and bit me on the ass. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting his parents. I'm nervous around them so he encouraged me to drink so I'd loosen up. I got so drunk I tore up all the things in his old room I thought were from ex-girlfriends and accidentally flashed his dad my crotch. FML
Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML
Oversharing is caring
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my family. It was going well until my 23 year-old sister started telling him in detail about her constipation, and that if she doesn't take a shit in a few days, it's going to come out of her mouth. FML
Top comments
fallenshadow16 25
Honest mistake. Kids say the funniest things some times and it catches you off guard.
coming back in the future 30
But the question is, do you like peanuts?
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Comments (43)
body_paint 8
My cousin instead of saying Coke, She would say ****...
poopehdoo 9
That's very Asian XD
legendof90 14
Why can't you visit
lvg_fml 10
Obviously the parents are super sensitive to the child's speech issue. I would apologize simply and leave it at that. If they make too big a deal out of it you're better off not going there and it's worse for the poor kid. I'm curious, what does your boyfriend say and what was his reaction
grumblebum 16
It's an honest mistake but the parents should have been more understanding. My daughter had trouble pronouncing some words, especially those with 2 or more syllables such as peanuts. I got her to treat it as two words, she could pronounce pea and nuts separately but putting them together she got tongue tied so I got her to say it as two words. It wasn't long before she naturally said them properly.
DoomedGemini 37
My brother would say 'dickless' rather than ridiculous. Instead of being sensitive and flipping out over misunderstandings, my mom would tell him to tell his grandpa Dick he's ridiculous. Kids mispronounce things, sometimes they sound very bad. Yeah, you should clarify what they were saying but laughing like that is completely justified.
schreibergx93 19
That's pretty short of character on your cousins parents part if they didn't understand your reaction was completely logical to a question like that from an 8 year old. Kids are really smart nowadays questions like that are apparently normal.
GhostFox 33
Banning someone from a household for something like this, that was clearly an accident is overkill. Worst case, they should have asked OP to pay for either the laundering of the dress or for a replacement, instead of essentially throwing a tantrum. If OP didn't apologize or was asked to pay for washing or a replacement and refused responsibility, I could understand, but this doesn't sound like it even got far enough for OP to apologize. Telling someone they aren't allowed to come to future events at a location because of a harmless misunderstanding? Rude and, to me, implies that they already disliked OP for dating their relative.
GAeroNKissR 26
I don't think the issue is that she misheard...but that she spat her drink out on her.
Witch_E_Poo 14
Sounds like you accidently escaped a lot of future family drama! Run....run
messymessiah 11
That family clearly has no sense of humour