Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML
Today, I was sitting at the computer when this really annoying fly kept landing on the keyboard. After a while, I took the bottom of a pen and squished it. Twenty minutes later I absentmindedly started chewing at the bottom of the pen. FML
Today, I screamed at the top of my lungs in the middle of a math test because I saw a spider that wound up being a hairball. My teacher was incredibly sympathetic, taking off only five points for "disrupting our working environment". FML
Today, I woke up and found a small leg of what used to belong to a spider on the corner of my mouth. FML
Today, I was chewing my pen while I was paying attention to my teacher. I chewed a bit too hard, and something broke off, so I casually looked at my pen. It was unharmed. One of my front teeth had broken off. Everyone in class, including the teacher, had to see it before I could call my dentist. FML
Today, I woke up to find pieces of a dead spider stuck in my braces. FML
Today, I was eating lunch outside with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML
Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML
Today, I was laying on the couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML
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Top comments
leaper66 12
Hope it didn't taste too bad...
BeepBeepSwerve 9
a little mid afternoon snack!
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Comments (75)
JustNatalie 8
I don't even feel sorry for you ?
xKai_Axelx 12
why would you kill a spider with something you use that close to your face?
TrueBlueTardis 11
Hey...OP here. Created an account to answer some questions. 1: I didn't catch it and release it outside because all spiders are evil demon spawn that deserve to be sent back to hell. 2: I didn't clean it off because the spider carcass wasn't actually on the eraser, and I had gotten distracted right after this so I forgot about it til later. 3: I didn't exactly chew it, but rather just lightly held it against my lip while thinking about an answer. Of course, this is when I remembered what had happened earlier. I screamed, threw the pencil down, and then sprinted to the nearest sink to scrub my lips.
scottishoatmeal 22
Karma!
Blucanary 6
After you smashed didnt you wipe it off?! So long as you wiped it off good enough it's not THAT big a deal