Kids: Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady... - FML

By Anonymous - 10/03/2011 22:28 - United States

Today, I overheard a little girl ask her mom if the round lady in purple was pretending to be a giant eggplant. I was the lady in purple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 274

You deserved it 9 669

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sorry dude

By EatYourGreens - 21/08/2021 06:01 - Australia - Augustine Heights

Today, my four year-old very loudly asked me if the little person she saw at the shops was like that because he didn't eat his vegetables. He definitely heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 881

You deserved it 155

By Anonymous - 31/12/2011 06:21 - United States

Today, as I was just finishing my grocery shopping, a little girl and her mother walked past. Seeing the little girl staring at me, I waved. The girl then pointed to me and asked her mother "Mommy, is that man pregnant?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 883

You deserved it 7 316

By cganon - 21/09/2010 12:44 - United Kingdom

Today, I was in a store when a child looked at me and said to his mother "look at that tall man!" His mother replied "he's an evil giant isn't he, darling?" I then mimed being an evil giant to make the kid laugh. His mother slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 701

You deserved it 5 031

Snek

By Ksweety_fml - 01/08/2019 02:00

Today, somebody in a store was talking about a girl who had a snake, and while I was walking out the store, an old lady asked me if I was the girl with the snake. I said no, to which she replied, "Oh, because you look like someone who would." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 440

You deserved it 265

By Redhead4life - 18/03/2012 00:48 - United States - Miami

Today, a little girl looked at me and yelled "Mommy look, there's a real leprechaun!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 894

You deserved it 2 890

Mambo number 6

By n/a - 25/11/2009 07:36 - United States

Today, I was working at a children's play centre, and my stomach was twisting and turning. Thinking no one was around, I let out a small fart, only to turn and see a little girl running to her mom, yelling, "Mommy! Mommy! That lady just farted and it sounded like daddy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 140

You deserved it 27 569

By Anonymous - 11/09/2013 18:10 - United States - Miami

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 198

You deserved it 10 084

Helpful

By Big bootay - 28/01/2019 16:00

Today, while at a restaurant, my 4 year-old son pointed at a lady and exclaimed, “Mom, her butt is even bigger than yours!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 239

You deserved it 363

By Black Cat 13 - 04/09/2010 06:52 - United States

Today, at work, a little girl was misbehaving. Her dad told her that she would look like me when she grows up. The little girl look horrified while Daddy laughed and kept reassuring her he was "just kidding." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 155

You deserved it 3 517

Check this out!

By Anonymous - 10/08/2015 00:37 - United States - Plano

Today, I went to the store with my 4-year-old daughter. While I was trying to change into tight jeans, which weren't completely on, my daughter opened the curtain and yelled, "It's the Mommy Show!" Everyone there heard her and saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 829

You deserved it 2 561

Next

Top comments

ViolentBears 0

Friday 11 March 2011 1:12

Were you pretending to be an eggplant? I don't think your disguise was good enough cause she didn't fall for it.

dmndrby789 0

Friday 11 March 2011 1:13

kids say the darnest things lol

Comments

cdatribe23 0

Friday 11 March 2011 2:46

this really made me laugh out loud :D

sgtrobswifey 0

Friday 11 March 2011 2:52

Should have told her you were trying out for a spot on veggie tales. If that didn't work ya should take it as constructive criticism and start getting in shape if you have the desire too.

sgtrobswifey 0

Friday 11 March 2011 4:45

Well, thanks for the heads up dick. Funny thing is, a tomato is also a fruit.. Which is one of the main characters on veggie tales. Guess the jokes on them. Should have been fruity tales, then all the homosexuals would have taken offense and said they were being made fun of. Anyway, learn to sp

nbk1405 0

Friday 11 March 2011 7:50

haha ^win

MrFlintstone 5

Friday 11 March 2011 2:56

do people actually message each other on fml or am I just lonely

Lufferkinz 0

Friday 11 March 2011 3:05

Should've asked her to eat you.

JustinThunder 8

Friday 11 March 2011 3:08

She was just helping you with "costume" ideas for next Halloween.

aback 4

Friday 11 March 2011 3:10

Probably want to avoid orange, too, unless you want to field comments about the Great Pumpkin.

sweet_blue 3

Friday 11 March 2011 3:14

eggplant? you would think the kid would have said barny

camerican21 1

Friday 11 March 2011 3:22

At least she didnt ask you to sing that stupid ass "I love you" song

denvan 0

Friday 11 March 2011 3:38

lmao at least is better than getting compared to Barney

takemethere 0

Friday 11 March 2011 3:38

don't say mean things to this person. when people say things about your weight it hurts. even if it's coming from a kid. and maybe she is trying to lose weight.

kachowak 0

Friday 11 March 2011 4:17

blah blah blah, rah rah rah :D if he hates it then change it >.>

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8
9

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I bumped into my English teacher at an AA meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 485

You deserved it 1 033

Today, a "friend" mentioned that my husband was "yummy", then asked if she could "have a turn" with him. I left and went home, outraged. When I told my husband, he couldn't conceal his stupid horny grin, and immediately tried to initiate sex. Pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 360

You deserved it 698

Today, I was driving home from an airport. On the way home, I got a flat tire. Once I was outside the car I realized that I had accidentally locked the car with the keys inside. I was in the middle of nowhere 20 miles from anywhere and couldn't call for help since my phone was in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 734

You deserved it 6 765

Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 327

You deserved it 13 264

Today, I received several texts congratulating me on my pregnancy. It turns out that my husband announced he is going to be a father on Facebook, which I don't use. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 273

You deserved it 2 902

Today, I was wondering why my home smelled so weird, until I found out that my 4 year old son had been secretly scattering around food he didn't like to eat throughout the house. How did I find out? No one else in this family leaves half eaten spinach all over my underwear drawer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 881

You deserved it 3 900