Kids: Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail...

By Demetria - 20/08/2012 22:02 - United States - White Plains

Today, I had to go down to the county police department to bail out my kids who thought it would be a good idea to try mugging an ice cream truck driver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 526

You deserved it 4 812

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Same thing different taste

By imnotastranger - 09/05/2014 03:01

Today, I was teaching my 4 year-old daughter about "stranger danger" and how to deal with it. Later that day, we went out and since I didn't buy her a ice cream, she kept screaming "STRANGER DANGER!" A total stranger tackled me until the cops arrived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 648

You deserved it 6 941

By Anonymous - 09/05/2012 01:59 - United States - South Salem

Today, I heard the ice cream truck. Being the idiot that I am, I ran down the steps and almost immediately fell down them. I needed four stitches. I didn't even get my ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 090

You deserved it 9 597

By ahhahaha - 12/08/2009 03:07 - United States

Today, I had to go to the police station to pick up my 42 year-old dad. Why? He was caught stealing candy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 991

You deserved it 4 702

Not-so-biker chick

By Kris - 24/09/2023 10:00 - Canada

Today, I thought it was about time to learn to ride a bike as an adult. I wobbled down the street, lost my balance, and crashed into a parked ice cream truck. The owner yelled at me, and I was left with a bruised ego and no ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 591

You deserved it 217

By D - 04/12/2011 07:46 - United States

Today, I was having a rough day and decided to go out for a walk at 1 a.m. to clear my head. I ended up being driven home by two cops, who thought I was prostituting myself at the truck stop. When we arrived, they had a nice conversation with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 681

You deserved it 5 590

By BrokebyKids - 06/09/2010 20:26 - United States

Today, my daughter asked for a dollar to buy ice cream from the ice cream truck while I was on my computer working. Out of my wallet she took a fifty dollar bill. The ice cream man got a big tip before driving off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 344

You deserved it 16 379

By idiotson - 11/06/2014 00:39 - United States - Rocky Point

Today, I had to go to the police station after my son got arrested for shoplifting 15 packs of gum. He got away with it at first, but got busted when he tried to return it all because he "didn't like the flavor". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 331

You deserved it 8 974

By Anonymous - 25/04/2019 16:00

Today, I got pulled over and ticketed while taking cookies to the local police station. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 889

You deserved it 807

Misunderstanding

By almostmugged - 17/09/2009 05:00 - United States

Today, as I was walking home, three burly men suddenly began to approach me. Thinking they were going to mug me, I reached for my pocketknife and said, "Stay away, I have a knife." Turns out they just wanted directions to an ice cream shop for their daughters, who were now bawling their eyes out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 059

You deserved it 55 303

Bastard Bambi busts bumper

By SugarCoat - This FML is from back in 2017 but it's good stuff

Today, I volunteered to go get ice cream if I could use my mother's car. She told me to be VERY careful. Not ten minutes later, I hit a deer, which got up and walked off as though nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 079

You deserved it 758

drunkonduty247 1

Tuesday 21 August 2012 2:37

Why bail them out?

Dblocker 18

Tuesday 21 August 2012 2:37

I guess the kids never thought that trucks can go faster than them huh?

Comments

stardarkness 12

Tuesday 28 August 2012 0:52

Bangarang?

j3ebrules 13

Saturday 1 September 2012 4:12

I wouldn't. Let them sit there and learn.

Szaszaspasz 26

Thursday 6 September 2012 2:43

Why did you bail them out?

xxvwarrior 0

Monday 10 September 2012 4:58

Do your kids listen to Skrillex by chance, particularly BANGARANG?

ajskippa 1

Thursday 13 September 2012 7:37

Hahaha it's not GTA, they watched the bangarang video by skrillex.

tt700 3

Friday 21 September 2012 23:48

BANGARANG OMFG THESE KIDS R JOKES IVE ALWAYS WANTED TO DO THT!!!! :P

Djdumpstet 0

Monday 24 September 2012 6:48

Bangarang by skrillex explains it....they mug an ice cream driver in the video

PotatoTurtle 0

Tuesday 25 September 2012 23:48

Bangarang! :)

lovelyscene 5

Saturday 6 October 2012 19:12

BANGARANG!

droptableusers 7

Wednesday 24 April 2013 0:33

Shout to all my lost boys Sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-shout to all my lost boys We rowdy

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The Top

Today, I was running late to work so I started getting dressed and brushing my teeth. I got to work 5 minutes late, which is when noticed a toothpaste stain on my shirt. I thought it looked identical to a cum stain, and the worst part was I was wearing black, so it was noticeable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 659

You deserved it 255

Today, I was in a store with my mom. I wandered off, then walked around looking for her. I spotted her, and decided to put on a ski mask to give her a scare for a laugh. I hid around a corner and yelled "BOO!" when I saw her. It wasn't my mom, and I'm now banned from that store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 2 294

Today, I started my job as an assistant to a beekeeper. I forgot to put gloves on, and got stung like crazy. My hands swelled up to the size of baseball gloves. Turns out, I'm allergic to bees. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 693

You deserved it 37 801

Today, a parent of one of the students I teach called me to complain that I was teaching her child "lies" and "fairytales". I was teaching them about the Holocaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 091

You deserved it 2 219

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 992

You deserved it 2 225

Today, my idiot neighbor decided the best way to dispose of the poison ivy in his yard was to pile it all up and burn it. I'm severely allergic. It was so bad that one of my eyes is still swollen half shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 203

You deserved it 1 382

Same thing different taste

Not-so-biker chick

Misunderstanding

Bastard Bambi busts bumper

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