Today, my mom told me to break a leg before performing in my dancing school's show. I really did break part of my leg while performing. FML

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

Today, I stepped outside my house for the first time in a year, trying to socialize again. I broke my leg. FML

Right in the feetsies

Today, while demonstrating to my wife how I broke my big toe, I broke the little toe on the opposite foot. FML

Slapstick

Today, I laughed at my friend for tripping on the sidewalk. While imitating him to show “how stupid" he looked, I stepped on the exact same sidewalk, twisted my ankle, and fell over in front of a bunch of strangers. FML

Ouch

Today, the day after saying that I'd never broken a bone, I snapped my fibula in half. FML

Today, I broke my toe. After telling my friend about it, he promptly stomped on it to "see what my reaction would be." FML

Today, I was hanging out with my friends when I tripped and a chair rolled over my foot, breaking a bone. A friend, who didn't believe me, then dogpiled on top of me and laughed as I screamed. FML

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

Urbex is risky stuff

Today, I was riding my bike when I passed a derelict house that recently burned. Curious, I dismounted and went inside. I stepped on a nail, and while I was staggering in agony, I hit a weak spot in the floor and broke my other leg. FML