Today, I bought some mandarins so that there would be at least one healthy thing in my shopping basket, and I wouldn’t feel like such a fat lard at the checkout. FML
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Autumn: Leaves and Laughter
When the leaves fall, the laughter rises. Discover autumn stories as crisp as dried leaves!
Today, in last ditch attempt to be an adult, I trotted out to do my grocery shopping for the week. As I confidently strode through the produce aisle, I grabbed what I thought was a nice, ripe mango. At checkout, the cashier kindly informed me it was in fact a massive potato. FML
Today, I went to the supermarket to buy just one item - a single, ripe avocado. After spending way too long choosing the perfect one, I got to the checkout counter. I'd left my wallet at home. I had to abandon my poor avocado. FML
Today, I ordered groceries online and thought I’d gotten a good deal on apples. I didn't notice they were sold individually, so now I have 36 apples sitting in my kitchen. FML
Today, I realized I’d been walking around a small grocery store for 10 minutes holding an avocado I grabbed but didn’t need. Too embarrassed to put it back, I guess I’m buying an avocado. FML
Today, I felt motivated to eat healthier, so I bought a bunch of vegetables. When I got home, I ordered some Burger King, all because I didn’t want to "waste the vegetables by cooking them wrong." Now the veggies are inevitably going bad in the fridge while I wait for my delivery. FML
Today, rather than buying one pork chop big enough for myself, I bought two smaller chops just so the cashier wouldn't think I was eating by myself. FML
Today, I decided to start a new and healthy diet. When I came home from my run this morning, my family decided to show their support by buying takeaway food. FML
Today, I bought grapes. Just grapes. At the checkout, the total was $14. I laughed. The cashier didn’t. Now I'll be eating one grape a day like it's caviar. FML
Today, I had to decide between buying medicine and buying food. FML
Today, I decided to go on a diet to lose some weight before summer. This was followed by the arrival of a giant parcel full of candy from my mother. FML
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Top comments
IrieStorm 9
I hope you're not looking for sympathy, what you buy is entirely your choice.
Sinshine 28
While you might want to look into buying more healthy food, believe me when I tell you that no cashier will care for what you but. They're way too busy getting you dealt with and sending you on your way.
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Comments (12)
jsikes 8
If Mandarins are what you’d consider healthy, then you should really change your diet
IrieStorm 9
I hope you're not looking for sympathy, what you buy is entirely your choice.
Sinshine 28
While you might want to look into buying more healthy food, believe me when I tell you that no cashier will care for what you but. They're way too busy getting you dealt with and sending you on your way.
Dthsapprntc 23
Mandarins are delicious. Not as delicious as cake though. Or cookies. Or icecream. Or chocolate. Or fudge. Or caramel.
childlessmother 16
Mandarins are high in sugar and carbs. Really not a good choice. May I suggest keto. You can still have chocolate just low sugar
leximichelle 13
It’s a fruit. We’re fruit eating creatures. Not sure why any fruit would make someone gain weight.
wmayrhofer 18
Did it work tho?
skippydoda 32
1. Cashier's don't care what you buy 2. if you only have one healthy thing then you still look like a fat lard
Yudith 25
Mandarins? The usual "look, I do eat my veggies" fruit is apples. Mandarins look like half-decomposed clementines, and they taste like half-decomposed clementines. Were they on special, at least? Have you tried the old standby, tomatoes and cucumbers? Now, stop hurting yourself with those yucky mandarins and go buy bananas like a normal person.