Health: Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with...

By Anonymous - 14/02/2019 16:35 - United States

Today, I am 3 months pregnant. While lying on the couch with morning sickness, my boyfriend farted loudly and filled the room with a smell so horrifying that I immediately threw up all over my coffee table. He spent the next 20 minutes texting his friends about this "epic" moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 926

You deserved it 7 959

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Hilarious

By Anonymous - 01/02/2012 20:21 - United States

Today, my morning sickness has been so bad that my husband's farts send me running to the bathroom. He thinks it's hilarious, and has been following me around all day trying to crack one off in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 312

You deserved it 4 021

By Anonymous - 21/04/2009 15:15 - United States

Today, my husband and I were looking for a new house. The open house we were in had a strange floral scent to entice the buyers. I am three months pregnant and have horrible morning sickness. I threw up all over the living room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 266

You deserved it 4 811

By Anonymouse - 07/11/2015 02:03

Today, I was in bed with the stomach flu. My boyfriend thought it would be funny to fart in the fan next to our bed, which caused me to vomit all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 927

You deserved it 2 174

By GeesLouisee - 01/05/2018 15:00

Today, at 32 weeks pregnant, I found my boyfriend passed out face down in his own vomit. Not only does our freshly-painted game room now smell like a dirty bar, but he also let our 2 strictly indoor cats outside. They have yet to return. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 840

You deserved it 541

Panic!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Marsing

Today, I told my boyfriend that I've missed my period, and that I think I might be pregnant. He started panicking and ended up puking in the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 784

You deserved it 12 436

By kady - 04/01/2010 20:16 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was holding my hair back while I threw up. The smell then reached him and caused him to throw up in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 952

You deserved it 6 642

Smells like teen shit

By great 1st impression - 25/05/2014 16:09 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. I had to use the bathroom part way through, and ended up taking the foulest dump of my life. I cracked open a window on my way out, but my boyfriend's dad went in soon after, quickly retching and booming, "What the fuck?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 991

You deserved it 7 933

By anonymous - 14/03/2012 05:18 - Canada

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 077

You deserved it 14 194

By Anonymous - 18/08/2015 22:55 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I am two months pregnant. Being super hormonal, I was crying about how much I was crying. My husband put his arms around me to comfort me, and I sobbed so hard that I threw up all over him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 395

You deserved it 3 134

By queen_lol - 10/05/2016 17:14 - United States

Today, I was at a party at my boyfriend's house. As I was walking past him, he pulled me onto his lap and started introducing me to a childhood friend. I sneezed and accidently peed on him. I'm 6 months pregnant and can't control my bladder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 536

You deserved it 2 194

zp5 4

Wednesday 10 November 2010 0:23

boyfriend: "hey guys, i farted and it smelled so bad that my girlfriend threw up all over the coffee table. LOL!" his friends: "whoooa that is so cool." "that is awesome." "hilarious." "i wish my farts smelled that bad!"

TryptamineDreame 0

Wednesday 10 November 2010 0:26

You should give him one of your rotten pregnancy farts right in his mouth while he's sleeping. He probably wouldn't be laughing then.

Comments

SKULLKING 0

Monday 15 November 2010 7:12

I know that I would feel really bad for my wife I would help her and my farts aren't that bad

Pirate_llama 8

Tuesday 23 November 2010 21:09

I laughed but that sucks.

emem_am 1

Saturday 27 November 2010 7:40

great moment

Jenmic 16

Sunday 9 January 2011 8:44

"This is why we make sure we are with people we want to be MARRIED to before having kids". Enforcing people to conform to your views. I believe a man named Adolf Hitler shared this view too. Perhaps you've heard of him "23 is old enough to know what birth control is and USE it." Where does it say no birth control was used? Seriously show me. I can't say it's likely it was used but it's not impossible "Either that or you'll find a relative to pawn your kid off on while you take refuge at a part time job to hide from your responsibilities as a mom. Making 9 bucks an hour doesn't really constitute "stable." " Wow that was unnecessary. Especially since you most likely no nothing about the OP and bf's jobs financial situation, or how they will be as parents. These seem to based on personal prejudice towards working mothers. You can actually be married to a man that doesn't consider you a maid or his property! And this is coming from someone who identifies herself as jeffswife Congrats you're the most self-righteous, judgmental person I have ever seen this site.