Intimacy: Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms...

By Anonymous - 28/02/2014 21:10 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, frustrated that my boyfriend never gives me any orgasms when we make love, I tried politely hinting that he needs to improve. To start with, I said maybe he should be more spontaneous in bed. He replied, "What, like putting it in your ass? Gotcha." Great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 875

You deserved it 16 549

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Same thing different taste

Oh yeah?

By alexis89 - 26/05/2009 16:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Attempting to make things a little more exciting, I said in my sexiest voice, "Oh yeah, harder." My boyfriend who apparently doesn't like talking dirty, pulled out and angrily said, "I was trying, what more do you want?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 576

You deserved it 20 211

Simple plan

By Crish - 22/11/2020 05:05 - Italy

Today, I was patiently explaining to my boyfriend what I liked in bed, after several weeks of unsatisfactory sex. He snapped at me and said, "80% of women fake their orgasms. Why can't you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 774

You deserved it 182

Experiment!

By anal-retentive - 23/06/2016 20:00 - United States

Today, in an attempt to spice things up a bit, my boyfriend and I discovered he takes it in the butt better than I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 348

You deserved it 4 338

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 727

You deserved it 9 316

Sensual world

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 15:05 - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 276

You deserved it 3 022

By Queenbee26 - 23/11/2017 21:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend got mad at me when his so-called "ways to turn me on" didn't work. What were these ways? Flicking my nips and inserting his finger in my belly button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 268

You deserved it 551

Sweet summer child

By Anonymous - 06/06/2022 05:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend has so many hang ups about being good at sex that when we actually had sex for the first time this morning, he got upset that I was touching my clit while he was inside me. Apparently it was a sign I think he’s bad at it, and had to do it myself. Neither of us orgasmed today. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 105

You deserved it 287

One simple trick

By HotAndBotheredAndSad - 25/07/2025 13:00 - United States

Today, I finally made my fiancé orgasm with oral without his help. He asked me what I did differently. It turns out, I was just sad and depressed because he hasn’t made the effort to make me orgasm in months. I can’t ask without feeling like I’m intruding on his busy schedule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 115

By sucks at sucking - 15/12/2012 00:27 - United Kingdom - Bournemouth

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. I went slowly to build up the excitement, and I thought it was working really well, until he sighed, "For fuck's sake, it's a dick, not a shotgun." and told me to stop embarrassing him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 929

You deserved it 9 253

By valerie - 28/05/2011 01:04 - United States

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a handjob for the first time. It took ages for him to get excited, and in the end the only thing that blew up was him, saying, "Oh my god, just stop it already." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 074

You deserved it 18 815

glowbaby 15

Saturday 1 March 2014 1:05

How understanding he is!

smokecloud_ 37

Saturday 1 March 2014 1:06

Ouch. Maybe be a little more clear on what you mean by "spontaneous".

Comments

Fou_Lou 20

Monday 3 March 2014 11:14

Just tell him what you want goddammit. And stop faking Orgasms if you do that. No seriously. Stop hinting an get talking.

HarryFred 2

Monday 3 March 2014 20:17

Well, you can always try...

CasseyWasntHere 10

Wednesday 5 March 2014 9:46

This is typical men are horrible in bed

ShenaniganNinja 20

Wednesday 5 March 2014 19:08

YDI. Be direct and explain what you want. Giving vague hints and expecting him to interpret for you isn't going to work.

Desticles69 13

Wednesday 5 March 2014 22:24

hinting gets you no where, be straight forward about it

mookiemookie01 24

Wednesday 12 March 2014 23:32

Maybe he just needs directions. The instruction manual for a lady is vast and often different from the internet...

nichtkatze 1

Friday 14 March 2014 0:37

you should just try it you might like it

LadiesLoveMeAlwa 0

Friday 4 April 2014 2:49

Try anal you might like it

rorschach_fml 2

Monday 19 May 2014 22:46

I'd suggest you taking control sometime, coming up with role play situations that you can do together. The point isn't the roles or even kinky, but to make him think more creatively about what it is you're doing together. Younger men (I used to be one) have a pressure they feel and want to release. It becomes a strong motivation and I suggest making him wait a bit *during sex* and try new things. I am alarmed by the number of women who don't have orgasms with most guys. Some men will never learn, nor do they want to.