Love: Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to...

By Keaton - 15/06/2010 16:58 - United States

Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 359

You deserved it 44 963

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

Get the **** outta here, kid

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221

You deserved it 894

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 888

You deserved it 3 632

I am very hungry

By I'mSoHungry - 11/01/2020 08:00 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, a bird flew into the workshop where I work, gave itself a tour of the place, then promptly pooped on my lunch and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 325

You deserved it 197

By Anonymous - 16/11/2018 13:30

Today, I was asleep in my back garden and woke up when a bird landed on my hat and took a big shit right in my open mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 934

You deserved it 467

By smellyhand - 16/12/2009 21:11 - United States

Today, it looked like rain so I held out my hand to catch a raindrop. When I finally caught one, I closed my hand over it and ran to show my friends to prove it was raining. I opened my hand saying, "Look! It's raining!" When I looked down, I saw that I had actually caught a bird shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 788

You deserved it 34 059

By pass me the fucking rope - 18/06/2016 13:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, just when I thought my day couldn't get any worse, a bird shat on my lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 441

You deserved it 931

By Olive14 - 15/12/2010 06:15

Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 078

You deserved it 7 339

From a great height

By Anonymous - 08/05/2021 21:59

Today, I was sitting on the back porch with my husband. I felt two raindrops land on my head, so I said we should go inside because it was starting to rain. It turned out to just be a bird shitting on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 995

You deserved it 93

By crazystar69 - 09/03/2011 18:19 - United States

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 941

You deserved it 4 832

Snap!

By wheelchairgirl - 16/12/2016 01:21 - Denmark

Today, I was watching a beautiful flock of birds flying overhead while walking in the street. The guy next to me was lucky enough to catch bird poop with his forehead. I was lucky enough to get distracted by it, trip, and break my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 374

You deserved it 1 109

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The Top

Today, a man yelled at me for what seemed like an eternity when I told him his child wasn't tall enough to ride a roller-coaster. His daughter was about 3 years-old. The coaster is the second tallest in the world. I deal with morons like this every day, at minimum wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 635

You deserved it 119

Today, while on vacation, I realized my parents and grandparents had been running off and doing quite a few errands lately. After doing some sleuthing, I discovered they were taking turns having blood-curdling sex in our other hotel room down the hall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 681

You deserved it 11 188

The Top

Today, I was at a restaurant. I turned around looking for the restroom. I almost walked into the men’s room, then corrected myself and stumbled in the hallway looking for the ladies’. The employees thought I was drunk and kicked me out. I hadn’t had a single drink. I’m just clumsy as shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 243

Today, I decided that I was going to see a counselor due to the high amounts of stress my life. I planned to book the appointment when I got home. As soon as I got home, I noticed I had been robbed while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 160

You deserved it 57

Today, I uploaded a photo of myself at the beach on Facebook. The first comment it got was "Wow!! If I was 20 yrs younger, oh boy ;)". Yeah, thanks for that, grandpa. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 645

You deserved it 2 894

Today, I was working when a forklift came speeding out a trailer without honking. I jumped out the way, only to trip over something and fall out the dock door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 92

Today, in my psychology class, the creepy guy who sits beside me every day leans over and says, "I have an upset stomach, I may have to use the bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 983

You deserved it 2 439

Today, no matter how many toys and teddies she has, and no matter how much I punish her, I'm most likely never going to be able to break my 10-week-old puppy's habit of stealing my underwear. She doesn't eat them or even chew on them. She steals them to sleep with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 541

You deserved it 5 693