Miscellaneous: Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest...

By oreoblizzard619 - 25/09/2012 12:13 - United States

Today, after meeting my girlfriend's family and trying my hardest to impress them, she told me that they came up with a nickname for me. My new name is "Matt the Doormat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 577

You deserved it 3 207

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Same thing different taste

Confused

By Matt - 10/05/2025 00:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I met my girlfriend's friends for the first time. One of them walked up to me and gushed, "Oh my god, Joshua! It's so nice to finally meet you!" Then she made a remark about how she heard I played hockey. Hi, my name is Matt, and my sport is wrestling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 501

You deserved it 91

By fuuuudge - 19/08/2009 05:55 - United States

Today, my boyfriend took me out to meet his friends. It was going really well until I left to use the bathroom and two of the girls with us came in and started talking about how creepy Matt's new girlfriend is and that they're happy he's going to dump her. My boyfriend is Matt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 679

You deserved it 3 742

By why - 05/04/2011 15:25 - United States

Today, I learned that my parents' nickname for my fiancé is "dickwad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 755

You deserved it 6 612

Nice imagery

By Anonymous - 16/10/2025 03:00

Today, I met my girlfriend’s parents. Trying to make a good impression, so when her dad asked how we met, I jokingly said, “She just couldn’t resist me.” Her mom smiled and asked if we used pet names. Without thinking, I said, “I call her my little burrito.” Her dad choked on his drink, and my girlfriend whispered, “Why would you say that?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 425

By igiveup - 21/06/2012 18:19 - United States

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for dinner. The first words out of my dad's mouth were apparently, "Ah, you must be Dan's slam-piece." I was in the living room and didn't quite catch it all, but I said, "She certainly is!" Now I'm single, and all my friends think I'm a bastard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 822

You deserved it 11 596

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 957

You deserved it 3 990

By Anonymous - 28/09/2009 16:28 - United States

Today, I was introduced to friends of my boyfriend as, "My other girlfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 796

You deserved it 4 100

Great start

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I met my new roommate. She severely struggled with pronouncing my name, and decided that to save time and the effort, she's just going to call me what she thinks my name sounds like: Lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 495

You deserved it 3 341

Nice meeting you…

By str3tch - 03/04/2009 20:48 - United States

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time over dinner. In order to make a good impression, I was as polite as possible, and tried to be as engaging as I could. Near the end of dinner, my girlfriend's mom says, "I liked your old boyfriend better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 933

You deserved it 3 401

By biblepain - 28/03/2015 02:12 - United States - Tucson

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 322

You deserved it 2 226

perdix 29

Tuesday 25 September 2012 16:30

I'd call you Neither Noor, and you could call me Either Ore.

TheMaster15 10

Tuesday 25 September 2012 17:17

My first name is Forrest, I'm sure you can all guess what my last name usually gets to be haha

Comments

MrChrisOake 3

Tuesday 25 September 2012 19:15

Mines "Professor Oake" Gotta say, I love mine.

amanda_say_whutt 9

Tuesday 25 September 2012 19:19

My last name is Pfister. So they call me Pfister the "fister"

kellygirl83 11

Tuesday 25 September 2012 19:48

Some people call me Kelz Belz.

KMtheDrummer 6

Tuesday 25 September 2012 19:54

I have a friend who is either Ripstick Randy, Nash the Hash, or Drew Bob Gabe Nash. I'm either Ginger or Chocolate Rain, no puns. :0

LollipopDragon 4

Tuesday 25 September 2012 20:24

Karebear. It was fine when I was 5.

n3rdzgotskillz 29

Tuesday 25 September 2012 20:40

My surname's Randall and everyone calls me Mahatma Randy. There are a few who call me Randalf the Gay (as in Gandalf the Grey) as well, haha. :(

kipfischer 11

Tuesday 25 September 2012 20:43

It would have been easier to just call him Doormatt

Hellbound_Alleee 14

Tuesday 25 September 2012 20:51

That was pretty low of her to tell you they said that. You could tell them to go **** themselves next time, because you're no doormat. They were asking for it, after all.