To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 21:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 444 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to Super Glue a couple of quarters to the sidewalk downtown and watch people try to pick them up. Unfortunately, street patrol was watching me glue everything the whole time. I was fined with public vandalism and defacing US currency. FML I agree, your life sucks 17 541 You deserved it 101 448
Today, I tried making homemade bread, just for fun. My girlfriend started yelling that we had perfectly good bread from the store, "but noooo, my boyfriend just HAS to make his own bread!" She ended up ruining the experience, so I just threw the dough in the garbage and went to get drunk. FML I agree, your life sucks 877 You deserved it 191
Today, the clerk at Walmart asked me if the stretch mark cream I was buying was for my wife. I wish I could've said yes. FML I agree, your life sucks 26 907 You deserved it 4 237
Today, I'm recovering in the emergency room. How did I get here? Intoxicated at a coed party, I saw a hole in the host's shed and thought it funny to christen it a "glory-hole", only to be bitten by what may well have been a black widow spider. FML I agree, your life sucks 7 696 You deserved it 48 726
Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 167 You deserved it 8 085
Today, while driving to work, I stopped to let an old man cross the street. The driver behind me honked their horn, so I drove slow to piss them off. A few turns later, I pulled into the car park and noticed the other driver following me. She works in the office next to mine. We met the other day. FML I agree, your life sucks 23 478 You deserved it 6 732