Alcohol and Miscellaneous: The mouthfeel

The mouthfeel

By rookiemistake - 27/04/2015 03:12 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I went to a wine tasting for the first time. I copied the experienced people around me by swishing the wine around in my mouth, which I then choked on and spit out all over my white blouse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 948

You deserved it 10 141

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Connaisseur

By Anonymous - 06/01/2025 03:00 - Ireland

Today, I was on a date and I began pretending to know a lot about wine. I swirled the glass too hard under my nose and splashed red wine all over myself. I spent the rest of the date smelling like a bottle bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 752

First impressions

By medik - 23/02/2010 12:51 - United States

Today, I went over to my girlfriend's parents house for dinner. This was the first time I was meeting them, so I bought a $70 bottle of red wine to try and impress them. I tried to be smooth while popping the cork. I did, but the bottle slipped and red wine poured onto their white carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 993

You deserved it 8 229

Business casual

By Anonymous - 08/04/2013 08:30

Today, I had a lunch meeting with important people from my company. While drinking from my wine glass someone cracked a joke, causing me to snort a fountain of wine all over my lap, splashing the people next to me. The horrified look on my boss's face sitting opposite me said everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 280

You deserved it 5 598

By tryandtryagain - 28/04/2011 04:04 - United Kingdom

Today, while waiting on tables at work, I was carrying a glass of red wine when I lost balance and spilt it everywhere. After cleaning the floor and myself up and after refilling a new glass, I did exactly the same thing again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 490

You deserved it 29 801

Hi-de-hi

By Droolgirl - 26/05/2009 01:25 - United States

Today, I was at a fancy restaurant. I was drinking some water when I noticed a hot guy eating alone at another table waving at me. I smiled back, but had forgotten to swallow the water so it dribbled out of my mouth all over my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 263

You deserved it 46 595

Wine buffs

By ThatWineGuy - 23/12/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, some friends and I had a wine tasting evening, and I tried to impress my friends by showing off my extensive knowledge of different wines. I confidently described the subtle "notes of vanilla and oak" in a bottle of wine… only to find out that my "friends" had pranked me, and it was actually grape juice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 953

The wedding from hell

By Anonymous - 04/04/2023 14:00

Today, I embarrassed myself and my husband at the wedding of one of his rich cousins by trying caviar for the first time, finding it unbearably disgusting, choking, spitting it out all over the table, and downing three glasses of water to stop myself coughing. Now they think I’m common as muck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 678

You deserved it 930

By blegh - 16/01/2009 04:57 - Switzerland

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 867

You deserved it 6 278

The Hangover

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Newark

Today, I found out what a bottle of regurgitated wine looks like on white bedsheets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 187

You deserved it 9 982

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 278

fleur_de_fevrier_fml 22

Monday 27 April 2015 12:20

Wearing a white shirt while wine tasting? You like to take chances :)

Cads1 24

Monday 27 April 2015 12:15

Guess you should have swallowed that.

Comments

NickEd 11

Monday 27 April 2015 12:34

They were all probably copying eachother

limegreenpoopie 31

Monday 27 April 2015 12:37

There's a first time for everything, eh?

beararm 11

Monday 27 April 2015 12:38

it's all about looking smug while doing it, nxt thing u know everyone will b spitting on a white shirt ...

Camo23 21

Monday 27 April 2015 12:42

Stick to whiskey from here on out.

wakemeupplease 21

Monday 27 April 2015 12:49

Just be yourself life is better when you're original not a copy

pats2004 17

Monday 27 April 2015 12:55

I hope you didn't wine about that

zarabsegin 16

Monday 27 April 2015 13:27

This made me blow more air out of my nose than usual.

WitEluded 13

Monday 27 April 2015 13:28

There's always that one person who can't handle their alcohol

LoveNnyl 23

Monday 27 April 2015 13:36

Why would you wear white at a wine tasting?

Stillo 25

Monday 27 April 2015 13:42

You should just have been like "WHAT?! I did it on purpose" *sigh people* - :D

Nilorak 24

Monday 27 April 2015 22:49

Why would anybody choke on wine on purpose? ?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I lost my virginity to my amazing boyfriend. As we were getting dressed, I realized I had lost my bra. After intense searching I finally found it and put it on. It wasn't mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 836

You deserved it 4 243

Today, I was on the train ride home from a trip to Florida, and I gave my mom a call. While we talked, I made an offhand comment that all my friends back home must miss me. She knowingly asked if I meant my Sims and my cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 390

You deserved it 5 261

Today, my brother replaced my cologne with whiskey. I have a job interview and I smell like a drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 860

You deserved it 4 414

Today, my loving fiancé informed me that my new perfume makes me smell like a urinal cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 611

You deserved it 5 542

Today, I bought an "I love my boyfriend" t-shirt so people wouldn't think I'm single. I'm very single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 085

You deserved it 42 417

Today, I received a call from the police about a car accident that I was a witness to. As the only witness who stopped to help, I was remembered by the other cars involved. They're blaming me for the accident. The cops want to talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 920

You deserved it 2 789

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Comments