Pure evil
By Anonymous - 29/04/2015 16:06 - South Africa - Pinetown
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
You used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Voting on an FML in the "Work" category on a Monday morning between 8 and 9 a.m. How ironic.
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 a.m.
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 a.m.
You gave a Hug to someone. How cute!
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
You have put three pictures on your profile, but not necessarily pictures of your profile.
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
You have voted "You deserved it" over 100 times.
200 "I agree" votes is a good start.
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
You're following 100 people
You're following 50 people
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
You've received 68 Hugs on your profile. Kinky.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
See, son, moderating FMLs is like a marathon.
Clicking to reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried afterwards is even worthier.
You made your 500th "You deserved it" vote.
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
You have thumbed 5000 comments.
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already added 50 FMLs to your favourites list!
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
Not one, not two, but 50 pages of the Intimacy category read. No comment.
You're following 200 people
By Anonymous - 29/04/2015 16:06 - South Africa - Pinetown
By anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Knoxville
By Sexless from Texas - 24/04/2015 11:38 - United States - San Antonio
By Attacksloth - 23/04/2015 22:45 - Canada - Sudbury
By volleyballgirl - 28/02/2010 01:11 - United States
OP here. I was at a university, so like all schools, sex is fairly common here. I actually don't know if the contents were... legit sperm, but it seemed like they had the correct colour and, regrettably, consistency, judging by the shit left on my leg. It didn't look like pudding or mayonnaise or anything edible. Right now I'm just talking myself into a sense of security by telling myself that nobody in their right mind would actually be that disgusting. The second one missed me, because I saw them chucking it, so I ducked out of the way. Luckily I had extra pants from the gym so I just changed into those, and I refused to touch the condoms until a janitor came in with some heavy duty gloves. I don't think it was an act of revenge, because I haven't really talked to people much this year - I'm either with my wife, exercising alone, or researching alone. The boy who threw them was with a girl and they were both laughing. I memorized their faces, so if I see them on campus, they can receive some "polite Canadian justice".