Sex and Intimacy: That kidnapped kink

That kidnapped kink

By georgiahick - 30/12/2010 14:09

Today, my boyfriend asked me to 'spice things up in the bedroom'. When I asked how, he said I could try wearing a paper bag over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 851

You deserved it 6 113

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By quickfingers100 - 22/07/2011 13:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 948

You deserved it 10 735

Dad jokes

By phoenix101 - 16/05/2011 05:40

Today, my girlfriend asked if we could spice up our sex life. She didn't think it was too funny when I laid out all of our spices on the bed. She now refuses to have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 029

You deserved it 67 243

By JK - 01/02/2010 00:24 - United States

Today, my boyfriend admitted that he'd like to dress me in a squirrel suit and chase me through the forest. This was the surprising result of a discussion on how to spice up our love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 979

You deserved it 4 736

By Anonymous - 07/12/2011 17:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky. He pulled off my panties and was about to go down on me when he said, "Wait, what's this white thing?" It was a piece of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 918

You deserved it 20 696

By Username - 12/03/2011 05:10 - United States

Today, my boyfriend said he wanted to try something new. By something new, it was to put flour in my butt and see what would happen if I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 226

You deserved it 8 340

Groucho

By beardedlady - 02/07/2011 06:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to make me wear a fake mustache during sex. He said it "turns him on." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 161

You deserved it 5 253

Denied!

By Hystcheria - 25/07/2021 02:01 - United States - Fredericksburg

Today, I told my long-distance boyfriend that I'd like to throw my legs over my head and have him cram his dick deep inside me. He told me to order a pizza, "It'd be more fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 225

By BarbieKen - 14/06/2009 04:14 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend and I were messing around in his room he took off my underwear. As he was about to go down on me I spread my legs to help out then he looked up at me and said, "You got some toilet paper left behind." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 165

You deserved it 63 375

Hot and… greasy

By cortanaisahobot - 19/07/2012 20:29 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I told my boyfriend I wanted to spice up our sex life. He suggested incorporating bacon. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 678

You deserved it 6 230

By purrykitty - 23/04/2011 20:18 - United States

Today, I tried to spice things up in the bedroom by making love to my husband in a tight leather corset. I ended up passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 883

You deserved it 40 818

RayeofSunshine 0

Thursday 30 December 2010 19:24

Please tell me you're never going to have sex with him again if he's going to disrespect you like that. You should dump his ass. You deserve better.

nerdsgetmehot 22

Thursday 30 December 2010 19:30

If you haven't dumped him yet, I suggest doing so. Don't put up with that. If you do put up with that, then you deserve it! Stand up for yourself.

Comments

rudikk99 2

Friday 31 December 2010 2:29

for stupid question stupid answer! YDI 100% for asking ur bf how to spice up ur relationship!!!

bluebead5 0

Friday 31 December 2010 3:03

Ask urself this...why am I still datiing this guy? I hope u have a really good reason hunny

angle267 0

Friday 31 December 2010 3:27

lolzzzzzzzz

hamburgerhelpstr 0

Friday 31 December 2010 4:38

Lol, what a dick

Obelia 3

Friday 31 December 2010 7:18

Easy...no sex for him anymore! Problem solved!

DropTheDaggerxx 31

Friday 31 December 2010 7:46

Let me guess. He was serious?

zanguard 0

Friday 31 December 2010 8:41

That was nice of him. Plastic bags have been known to cause suffocation so paper was clearly the less dangerous choice.

just_cr1s 4

Friday 31 December 2010 9:14

just kiddingggg. ha (:

xSexyBeastx69 0

Friday 31 December 2010 10:27

lmfao ur bf is awesome

LoveMySoldier82 0

Friday 31 December 2010 10:48

My husband and I make mean comments to each other in a jesting manner. Subjects not touched are penis size and weight. Otherwise... fair game.

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Love Coworkers Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, a police officer stopped me and told me he got an anonymous tip that I was going to kill myself. I wasnt. Protocol says he had to bring me straight to a hospital where I explained that someone was messing with me. nobody listened. Now I have a hospital bill for $2,250. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 736

You deserved it 174

Today, I got yelled at by a customer while working at a bank call center. He was furious I apologized for a mistake that someone else had made. I again apologized for apologizing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 933

You deserved it 4 965

Today, my sister asked me if she could go into my closet to borrow my favourite dress for a party she was going to tonight. When I asked her where she was going, she said to a Halloween costume party. My sister is going as a prostitute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 038

You deserved it 31 786

Today, my coworker was talking about how he's met the man of his dreams and they've been dating for 3 months. He showed me a picture of them at Niagara Falls last weekend. His new boyfriend is my husband, who was supposedly on a business trip in Boston. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 053

You deserved it 287

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend masturbating beside me. I asked if she needed a hand. She called me a pervert and now won't speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 981

You deserved it 8 138

Today, after going to the doctor, thinking I was going to be diagnosed with hyperthyroidism, it turns out my thyroid is "perfectly normal." Apparently the strange feeling in my neck that oddly mimicked the disease is "an autism thing", even though I've never noticed it happen until now. I am so confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 121