Intimacy: Surprise!

Surprise!

By Shobz - 26/10/2009 16:04 - United Kingdom

Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking it was a romantic notion from my boyfriend, I went up to the bedroom. I opened the door to find him lying there, getting it on with my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 728

You deserved it 2 764

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Same thing different taste

By kahemae44 - 27/10/2009 10:20 - United States

Today, I visited my boyfriend's house excited about the romantic night he promised me. As time passed, we started making out and heading up to his room. Rose petals and candles filled his room. "How romantic", I thought. That is, until we saw his 5 year old sister blowing up condom balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 438

You deserved it 5 571

In the mood

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 02:00

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 309

You deserved it 214

By Eet- - 13/10/2011 19:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I awoke to rose petals leading me to the front garden. Curious, I followed them, thinking my boyfriend planned something romantic. As I walked out the door, I was hit in the face with a paper plate full of whipped cream and sprinkles, and then locked outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 220

You deserved it 4 269

Dude walked into a porno…

By Anonymous - 08/08/2021 17:59

Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 158

Surprise indeed

By Anonymous - 18/10/2010 14:24 - Netherlands

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend because he's been working extra hard these last two months. I went to his house only to find him in bed with another girl. Standing there, with fifteen roses in my hands, all he could say was, "Thank you, can you put them in a vase?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 321

You deserved it 3 736

By Romantic - 15/01/2010 08:33 - United States

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 218

You deserved it 4 162

By nnnaaazzz - 24/10/2009 12:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to pay a suprise visit to my boyfriend's house. I let myself in, walked up to his bedroom and found him dancing around. In the dress I had left the other weekend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 378

You deserved it 6 237

Keep going!

By Taraa3 - 10/10/2009 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 356

You deserved it 5 075

By torny>horny - 10/04/2011 04:42 - United States

Today, my husband tried to be romantic by throwing me in a bed laid with roses. Too bad he forgot to remove the thorns first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 624

You deserved it 4 986

Oh, hello

By kikuhime - 17/01/2021 02:01

Today, I came early from my job, just to find my boyfriend in bed, with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 175

You deserved it 121

jector25 0

Monday 26 October 2009 19:36

That sucks n I would shank them

Maxine17 8

Monday 26 October 2009 19:56

D: That's awful Burn them both.

Comments

Ninjaface 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 6:20

Maybe your boyfriend just has separation anxiety. In which case you should have comforted him by joining in.

amberita28 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 8:29

poeticvibez, your hilarious!

Jarlais 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 8:53

I thought people would have learned by now to NEVER come home early... secrets are meant to stay that way!

mrblah 0

Tuesday 27 October 2009 10:49

That sucks. how did you react when you saw youre sister?

feed_the_ducks 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 5:04

Damn that had to hurt :( She doesn't sound like all that great of a sister and he sounds like a tool :/

lovin_bigsister 0

Wednesday 28 October 2009 18:16

it was her house she shouldnt have 2 call!!!! and her bf has a key but he shouldnt b there with her sister really people get it right!

Whiskey0015 0

Saturday 31 October 2009 6:09

That's just wonderful.

ForgottenRemix0 0

Tuesday 3 November 2009 19:36

wow, FYL, you shouldve gotten naked and laid down next to him and whispered "Is it my turn next?" hahahahahaha

haj_fml 4

Thursday 12 November 2009 19:03

Too much of a cliche to be true.

cmm724 0

Tuesday 8 December 2009 6:33

that ******* sucks... but that's when you hop on top and prove that you're the better sister!!

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, because I forgot to fill out a form, I accidentally held up payroll for the whole organization. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 502

Today, we ended the night with a yellow jacket queen trying to make a home in our apartment's kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 317

You deserved it 103

Today, I was in a college band rehearsal when I got a call, saying, "Your car was just hit by a tree!" I said, "Yeah, right!" and hung up on her. Minutes later, the band manager walked in and told me that my car was totaled. I then went and stood in the rain to watch a tree get cut off my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 592

You deserved it 6 707

Today, my boyfriend let me be the first one to read the novel he dropped out of college to write. Turns out it's titled "A Brief History of Ass" and is an incoherent ramble about every time we've had anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 909

You deserved it 9 001

Today, I told my dad I was leaving to get some beauty sleep. He looked at me laughing and said, "See you in a decade." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 436

You deserved it 6 819

Today, my boyfriend was making salsa and got jalepeno juice all over his mouth. A little bit later, he started going down me. He hadn't washed his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 099

You deserved it 5 908