Pregnancy, Parents and Miscellaneous: Probably not - FML

Probably not

By Michael tee - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I asked my dad if I was a planned baby. He asked me if the crazy drunken party he and my mom had nine months prior to my birth counted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 787

You deserved it 5 144

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Same thing different taste

By mannydanny - 01/09/2011 23:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 216

You deserved it 5 057

By verycre8tive - 21/05/2009 07:31 - Romania

Today, after a few drinks my dad decided to tell me the story of how I was born. He wanted a baby girl after my brother, and mum didn't want any more children. So he tricked her by giving her the wrong pill. That should explain a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 650

You deserved it 2 733

By nick - 06/03/2011 01:42 - United States

Today, my dad got drunk and asked if I had inherited his "abnormally tiny penis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 469

You deserved it 3 821

By TKPhai - 05/04/2015 03:06 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my parents, my aunt, and her husband went out to dinner. Once there, my aunt told us that she was pregnant. Out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 208

You deserved it 16 484

By Alex - 20/06/2014 22:05 - United Kingdom - Greenford

Today, my dad told me that I was conceived while he and my mother were high on LSD. He then stared into the distance, mumbled "Probably explains a few things" and chuckled to himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 465

You deserved it 4 169

By Steve.mc - 01/05/2011 07:03 - Canada

Today, someone asked my wife if I was her father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 479

You deserved it 7 981

By Anonymous - 12/12/2010 21:55 - United States

Today, I asked my mother why she didn't drink. She laughed and said, "The last time I drank was the night you were conceived. I didn't need any other disasters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 267

You deserved it 4 589

By sexybelly - 26/03/2015 08:35 - Australia - Parramatta

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 889

You deserved it 4 629

By Anonymous - 14/08/2012 15:42 - United States

Today, after much deliberation, I decided to accept my parents' invitation to a family dinner. A half hour after I arrived, all hell broke loose, because my mom's pregnancy test had come back positive, and she was convinced my dad had poked holes in his own condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 963

You deserved it 1 775

Chubby life

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 18:00

Today, I was tying my hair up when my dad rubbed my stomach and asked how his grandchild was doing. He knows I'm not pregnant and that I've been trying really hard to lose weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 604

You deserved it 300

Next

Top comments

vballcutie08 6

Friday 12 August 2011 1:03

I've never been brave enough to ask, I was afraid I'd get an answer like this one..

bellakaykid 6

Friday 12 August 2011 1:03

Yes, that counts.

Comments

badactor009 0

Sunday 14 August 2011 23:13

Most of us are here because some guy was horny. It is that simple.

Danij101 0

Tuesday 16 August 2011 9:10

well they planned the party so I think it counts

loserman67 35

Wednesday 17 August 2011 18:00

OMG - that is exactly how our son was born... we were getting ready for a party, had a couple of drinks during the process - she was looking pretty hot, so about 20 minutes before the guests arrived I pushed her down onto the couch in the family room and screwed her brains out - 9 months later our son arrived!

denverman92 0

Saturday 24 September 2011 3:53

I'm sorry it's sounds like you were and accident but a really fun one at least

stupidisntcute 0

Saturday 24 December 2011 8:41

What does it matter if you are planned or not?? Seriously? Stop worrying about how or why you got here, be grateful you have family who love you, some people don't have that! Just check the orphanage! (sp)

Rake 17

Sunday 4 May 2025 7:23

I don't understand the big deal, Sometimes things happen, sometimes you plan. It doesn't mean they love you any less.

lacedab 8

Thursday 8 May 2025 7:14

Anyone else think FML is recycling their underrated post?? I swear I read this exact one years ago..

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Today, I had a big craving for a popsicle so I went to a convenience store and bought one. On my first bite, my upper lip got stuck to it. I ripped it off and spent the next 10 minutes trying to stop the bleeding from the giant cut I'd put in my lip. It hurt too much to finish the popsicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 436

You deserved it 13 440

Today, I woke up to find my cat had knocked my phone into the toilet. As I fished it out, soaking wet, I thought, "Well, at least it's water-resistant." Turns out, my phone wasn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 263

Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 010

You deserved it 47 729

Today, it’s too complicated to explain how I found out but suffice it to say I learned that the actress I shared a kiss with on stage at the theatre had given her boyfriend a blowjob less than ten minutes before coming on stage and kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 85

Today, I slept over at my friend's house. Her dad made breakfast for us. While fixing a plate, my friend said, "Careful, my dad clips his nails in the kitchen." She said it with a sarcastic, joking tone, and laughed afterwards. While eating, I found a toenail in my food. Her response? "I told you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 628

You deserved it 5 570

Today, I called an airline to try to locate a bag I left on a flight. When I told the phone rep which airport I flew into, he asked me what city it was in. He paused after I told him, then asked me what state Seattle is in. I don't think I'll be getting my bag back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 230

You deserved it 3 828