Intimacy: POLICE! OPEN UP!

POLICE! OPEN UP!

By Obee - 14/04/2009 14:05 - Canada

Today, cops showed up at my apartment demanding to look inside. Satisfied with the search, they told me they had received a noise complaint. More specifically, hearing screams someone believed a girl was getting raped. I had two friends over and we had been wrestling. The three of us are male. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 357

You deserved it 27 543

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 00:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, while I was cleaning, listening to music and sometimes singing along, I heard a knock on my front door. I turned off the music and opened the door to the police, who stated they had to investigate reports of "repeated female screams" coming from my apartment. I'm a 23 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 925

You deserved it 2 440

By Anonymous - 08/04/2011 23:42 - United States

Today, I was having some intense sex with my boyfriend. I was wailing so loud that my neighbors decided to call the police on us. According to them, it sounded like I was "being tortured to death". FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 226

You deserved it 38 341

Private freakout

By emmy - 03/06/2022 00:00

Today, the neighbors called the cops on us because they heard a series of loud screams. No, no one was being murdered, but my mom found one of my socks in the laundry room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 198

By avocadotoe - 14/11/2016 06:52 - United States - Big Bear Lake

Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 219

You deserved it 3 128

By CAchickadee - 29/05/2011 04:27 - United States

Today, I was singing while unloading my dishwasher. I heard a knock on the door and went to answer it only to find the police telling me they received noise complaints from my neighbors. I live next-door to my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 333

You deserved it 6 244

By AussieG75 - 21/07/2012 04:48 - United States - Saint Augustine

Today, I heard screaming coming from my neighbor's house. Since her husband has a history of abusing her, I called the cops. After they left with him in custody, she called to yell at me because they were "working things out" after "having a few drinks". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 414

You deserved it 2 554

By whoawhoawhoa - 28/12/2010 22:04 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I heard my parents going at it upstairs. He said, "sounds like they're having more fun than we did." To make it worse, he crept to their door and put his ear to it, telling me what he heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 694

You deserved it 4 992

Nice neighborhood

By Anonymous - 11/10/2015 15:34 - United States - Lexington

Today, I awoke to the sound of my neighbors attacking my car with a baseball bat accusing me of calling the cops on them. I did call the cops on them, after they screamed at me last night, drunkenly, to call the cops for them because they thought they were being robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 001

You deserved it 1 795

By MALICEG - 26/05/2012 07:00 - United States - Oklahoma City

Today, there was a knock on my apartment door. It was the man from next-door, who sarcastically asked if I was alright, because he said he heard me screaming in agony. I was singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 519

You deserved it 4 800

By Anonymous - 02/03/2011 11:20 - United States

Today, my roommate came home and instantly began raging, cursing, and threatening to kill me. While I was cowering in my bedroom, the police had to settle the situation. All I'd done was rearrange some furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 596

You deserved it 6 354

kristenlee 3

Tuesday 14 April 2009 20:06

I don't think you were just wrestling...

SKYblue_fml 1

Tuesday 14 April 2009 20:04

Well, at least they knew that there wasn't a girl involved...

Comments

JBsGirlee 7

Wednesday 17 October 2012 2:24

Wow, they weren't following the law (in America at least) because they need a court order to search your home

uhnevermind 24

Saturday 26 October 2013 23:48

Not if the person gives consent to have their place searched. Since OP didn't do anything wrong, I don't see why he wouldn't.

Blacktom_fml 6

Saturday 29 June 2013 18:38

So, you invited Billy Herrington and Van Darkholm!

MSDemonslayer 5

Thursday 31 July 2014 19:52

Why is this under the category " Intimacy"?

haxthis 3

Sunday 3 August 2014 17:57

Hahahaha

MayankGupta 12

Friday 17 July 2015 7:36

This deserves to be on FML Facebook page :'D

grajax 24

Friday 9 October 2015 7:24

You could've refused them if they didn't have a warrant.

itasgnr 4

Sunday 22 May 2016 9:50

three words, "get a warrent"

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Today, I went for a job briefing, and after that was told to do some editing for them. When I asked the person whether I was paid for the day, she laughed and said no. She was serious. FML

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You deserved it 3 122

Today, my boyfriend discovered that I fart when I'm tickled enough. The best part was when he decided to show his family. FML

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You deserved it 3 632

Today, after being an "expert" in autism for over 40 years (yeah, I'm not a doctor, just autistic) I thought I'd seen it all. Bad relations, failed friendships and job interviews, etc. Now I find out there's such thing as a regress and I might completely lose the ability to talk. On top of that I'm losing my eyesight. Bummer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 113

Today, as usual, my neighbor's 9 year-old son came over after school. I work from home so he stays until his mom gets home. My dog mopes around the house until 3 p.m., then gets all excited because he has a friend to play with. I'm almost jealous because a dog I've had for 11 years likes him more than me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 407

You deserved it 405

Today, I was in the shower, when I heard my daughter scream and shout, "Mommy, mommy! Help! Come quick!" I panicked and rushed downstairs without even looking for a towel to cover myself, all so I could find out she'd just gotten a piece of dirt on her shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 776

You deserved it 2 905

Today, I had to convince my dad that text lingo causes brain damage just to try to get him to stop. He actually believed me, and is telling everyone they have, or will receive brain damage soon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 353

You deserved it 28 996

POLICE! OPEN UP!

Same thing different taste

Private freakout

Nice neighborhood

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