Painful and Health: Nuts

Nuts

By Painful - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was sitting around a bonfire when an ember landed on my crotch. Without thinking, I quickly slapped at it and hit myself square in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 109

You deserved it 40 257

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Same thing different taste

By lageste - 20/11/2008 04:37 - France

Today, while I was out, I was having a drink with a pretty girl. She started looking at my crotch and said, smiling, "There's something burning down there." I smiled, but she insisted. Ashes had set my trousers on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 204

You deserved it 5 334

By crayons128 - 24/01/2011 06:13 - United States

Today, I was at a fire roasting marshmallows. When mine caught on fire, I pulled it back so I could blow out the flames. It flew off the stick, and, still flaming, landed on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 061

You deserved it 6 606

Nutfirecracker

By Akashi - 22/07/2020 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the couch and his legs were on my lap. We heard a loud firework from somewhere outside our window, we both jumped and I felt the pain of him kicking me in the nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 288

You deserved it 458

In pain

By Khail Lozano - 02/04/2022 00:00

Today, I was making my bed and had an armload of pillows. One slipped and I tried to catch it between my arm and leg. I missed, sending my fist into my nuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 263

By person - 26/12/2010 17:59 - Jordan

Today, I was applying some Icy Hot to my sore thighs, when I accidentally got a little on my dime sacks. For the next hour, it felt like someone had lit a match under my plums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 938

You deserved it 28 352

Wakey wakey

By sacked - 22/02/2010 19:51 - United States

Today, I was woken by my alarm. I got really tangled up in my blankets, and struggled frantically to untangle myself so I could turn off the alarm. I not only kneed myself in the face, but I accidentally punched myself in the nuts too. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 377

You deserved it 24 030

By ericane27 - 27/12/2011 19:53 - United States

Today, I woke up to someone screaming "FIRE!" When I sat up, my face went right into my room-mate's ballsack. Apparently it was funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 376

You deserved it 5 857

Close but no cigar

By Anonymous - 23/12/2015 23:26

Today, while lighting a cigar, I set my beard on fire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 617

You deserved it 15 143

By jrocks - 19/05/2009 17:06 - United States

Today, as I was watching a DVD, I noticed a spider crawling on my crotch area. So, I panicked and smashed the spider, smashing my nuts in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 884

You deserved it 70 641

By chaoticnh - 24/06/2011 09:57 - Austria

Today, I found out how it feels to have my groin catch fire due to a magic trick going wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 235

You deserved it 12 618

skiz_fml 0

Monday 5 October 2009 12:11

This isnt an FYL or a YDI. Thats just ******* funny.

redbluegreen 40

Monday 5 October 2009 12:12

Firecrotch.

Comments

Nitial 6

Saturday 11 December 2010 2:18

You got hot balls. jk no ****

anonymous595 0

Saturday 19 March 2011 9:33

hahahaha!

AlyLovesAlex 0

Sunday 3 April 2011 1:22

idiot.

KaanTech 0

Wednesday 31 August 2011 2:58

No need to sorry you are perfectly correct about that.

syah7991 0

Thursday 6 October 2011 2:27

Did u have great balls of fire?

WhoopsMyBad459 7

Monday 30 April 2012 23:19

Fyl bro!!! Goin on my favorites

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my girlfriend woke me at 5am, just to say how great it was that I could still sleep two more hours before leaving for work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 388

You deserved it 5 602

Today, I was babysitting, and the family dog was unable to move, so I had texted the mother about it. We put the small dog on the couch to make it comfortable while the mother was on her way to get the dog and take it to the vet. Turns out, we sat with a dead dog for about ten minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 851

You deserved it 1 293

Today, I went to a seamstress to be fitted for my wedding dress and left with a pierced nipple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 898

You deserved it 6 129

Today, some punk got up in my face yelling at me, pushed my wife and scratched my car with a, "What you gonna do, old man?" attitude, and yet I’m the bad guy who gets arrested because I open-palm slapped him and he fell into a glass window and fucked up his face and neck, probably permanently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 294

You deserved it 370

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend of seven years. He stared at me, then said, "Yeah, okay then. I'm gonna watch TV now." He then turned on the TV and watched Top Gun. Not quite the response I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 776

You deserved it 41 265

Today, I learned that when you try to be respectful of your new girlfriend and stay out of her pants for the first couple of months, she's just going to sleep with your douchebag roommate. He even said, "A girl this hot, you need to fuck her ASAP or she'll leave. Your loss, dude." FML

I agree, your life sucks 486

You deserved it 257