Miscellaneous: Morning!

Morning!

By wellesleybanana - 17/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 264

You deserved it 4 689

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Same thing different taste

By foxbrat - 11/10/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 245

You deserved it 3 299

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 038

You deserved it 2 647

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 295

You deserved it 3 664

My little friends

By Annonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, an exterminator sprayed for cockroaches in my dorm room. After classes I got back to find three large cockroaches on top of my bed. Now that the exterminator has sprayed everything, all the cockroaches are coming out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 801

You deserved it 2 023

Fear factor

By Anonymous - 04/05/2020 23:00

Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 193

By tiredmom - 07/07/2016 15:03 - United States - Phoenix

Today, my son found a cockroach in his bed. I had to kill the thing and wash all his sheets and stuffed animals before he'd finally agree to go back to bed, three hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 357

You deserved it 1 601

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 987

You deserved it 4 787

By mac - 27/01/2014 14:40 - Australia - Bankstown

Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 439

You deserved it 4 379

By Whyis Dremora - 30/09/2018 15:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 861

You deserved it 301

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 291

You deserved it 4 601

designedlikedice 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 2:00

At least you weren't awake while the roach was crawling down your throat.

Sonalis 9

Saturday 18 April 2009 1:58

Ewwwwwwwww is all I can say. That must suck.

Comments

RockieGirl 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 9:31

*scream*

Tehalon 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 9:47

Any person on the world eats about 9 spiders a year in their sleep. And thats just spiders, don't forget all other bugs that crawl around in any given house. It's just free proteïne.

hattar 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 10:06

Poor u...but hey, atleast u got some protein!

mushroomcloud 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 10:22

That is seriously my worse nightmare!!!!!!

Sleepie 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 10:40

Actually 41 if you live in an apartment building with dirty neighbors their roach problem becomes your roach problem. So it's not necessarily the OP who "live[s] slovenly."

resawins 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 10:45

ick.

fatality2009 0

Saturday 18 April 2009 11:33

THAT IS DEFINETELY FMFL!!!

Subtext 10

Saturday 18 April 2009 14:14

You'd be surprised if you'd know what you eat while sleeping...bugs, spiders... When I was eight, we had a little locust problem. I was sleeping when my parents were chasing a locust that came in our house. They chased it right into my room, it jumps on my mouth and I eat it while my parents are watching. Just be glad you didn't wake up while it was still alive :)