Miscellaneous: Morning pick-me-up

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 986

You deserved it 8 671

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 20/03/2012 15:37 - United States - Raleigh

Today, I found out my roommate spits the mouthwash back into the bottle after he gargles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 100

You deserved it 2 676

Party hard

By jagerbombs - 30/12/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I woke up at a stranger's house after a long night of drinking. Before leaving, I decided to steal some mouthwash so I didn't smell like a liquor store. Thinking of the night before, I instinctively downed the Listerine like a shot and puked everywhere. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 030

You deserved it 46 469

Rushed

By K.Trinity - 15/06/2024 20:00 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was in a rush to get to work and decided to multitask by making my coffee while brushing my teeth. Halfway through, I absentmindedly poured mouthwash into my coffee mug and took a big gulp. I spent the rest of the morning trying to get the taste of minty coffee out of my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 463

Hair of the dog

By shartface12 - 06/06/2014 22:01 - United States - San Jose

Today, after a big house party the night before, I woke up with a dry mouth and a pounding hangover. I took a swig from a cup I'd left on my bedside table the night before, thinking it was water. Nope; it was vodka. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 978

You deserved it 43 661

Great start

By Anonymous - 27/03/2023 22:00 - United States

Today, I was rushing to get to work on time and grabbed what I thought was my coffee mug. It wasn't until I was in the car that I realized I had grabbed my husband's urinalysis cup. Not quite the morning boost I was expecting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 597

You deserved it 264

By anon - 20/06/2014 05:06 - United States - Kennett

Today, I woke up and put my contacts in. It appears that I got drunk enough last night that instead of soaking my contacts in contact solution, I used mouthwash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 358

You deserved it 24 751

By Jade - 16/02/2011 05:55

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was thirsty. In my groggy state, I grabbed the first bottle of liquid I could find, opened it, and took a sip. It was nail polish remover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 344

You deserved it 42 628

Gross!

By cantstopfeelingit - 16/12/2019 05:00

Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 218

You deserved it 2 499

By Olorin - 07/11/2011 20:49 - Germany

Today, I woke up soaked in water. It seems at some point in the middle of the night, I woke up thirsty and opened the water bottle I keep on my nightstand. I managed to drink a little, but it seems I didn't manage to put the cap back on before losing consciousness again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 871

You deserved it 5 785

Hangover time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 410

You deserved it 30 879

robertd73 24

Sunday 30 January 2011 13:32

why did your roomate leave it on your nightstand?

MagicMushrooms 0

Sunday 30 January 2011 12:33

That's bad however there could have been far worse things in that cup.

Comments

ElectricGhost_fml 5

Sunday 30 January 2011 19:12

Ewww!!!! That's disgusting!!! XO

ElectricGhost_fml 5

Sunday 30 January 2011 19:14

Ewwww!!!! That's disgusting!!!!

Iknoweverything 29

Sunday 30 January 2011 19:24

Why is your roommate leaving mouthwash on YOUR nightstand? Assuming you live in the exact room, wouldn't you at least have a different nightstand?

rattusrattus 18

Sunday 30 January 2011 20:21

... In the sink? FFS, people, you SPIT. IN. THE. SINK.

sallen0046 4

Monday 31 January 2011 0:57

Why are you going around drinking out of cups that don't belong to you in the first place? It might have been morning, but you should be able to remember that you didn't put a cup of water on the night stand. And why is your roommate leaving cups of anything on your nightstand?