Kids Metal as ****

Metal as ****

lerouxmaster - 22/12/2010 11:43

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

41 815

9 645

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

46 447

10 384

Straight to jail

anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

17 009

71 010

Anonymous - 20/04/2013 16:34 - Thailand

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

55 072

7 069

unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

32 209

6 104

potatoebee - 03/04/2012 18:19 - United States - Clover

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

16 737

27 259

bubbles - 05/09/2009 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML

13 704

41 113

mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

39 201

3 239

stressedmom36 - 13/08/2015 23:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

27 423

2 786

Sussy Baka

boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

1 208

167

Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

39 587

4 706

in_side_out 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 15:58

**** yeah . your sons gonna be a rocker hard out

Good_old_Grim 8

Wednesday 22 December 2010 16:01

Where is the "congratulations" button?

bvanessa 0

Friday 31 December 2010 9:59

ShelbyKoz 0

Saturday 29 January 2011 2:18

NICE !!!!!!!!!

myluvliferox 0

Wednesday 2 February 2011 5:24

That is totally the bombdiggity!! I pray my kids r as badass as that! m/>_<m/

Ravemonster 0

Tuesday 8 February 2011 14:34

Amazing, I want my sone to do that XXDD

Mylaughinplace 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 18:32

AWESOME

xxashleyxx77 1

Tuesday 1 March 2011 5:16

haha i would be so proud of that little dude :D thats just plain out epic

Brokencydesgirl 0

Thursday 3 March 2011 4:49

I wish that when I have a kids they will do that

Sammantha2011 0

Monday 28 March 2011 5:34

Coolest kid ever.

deniser 1

Thursday 31 March 2011 18:33

that is hilarious!

brazilfdawg 3

Thursday 21 April 2011 4:16

little boys a boss

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I farted so loud that I woke myself up. And the stranger sitting next to me on the airplane. FML

46 597

7 576

Today, I met my new 7ft tall and heavily muscular neighbor. Before I could say anything, he greeted me in his really deep voice with, "Excuse me, but is this yours?" He was holding my muddy 3-year-old son, who he'd found in his backyard, by his jumpers like a stuffed cat. FML

2 968

935

Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML

1 796

232

Today, while I was working out, I was listening to music with my earbuds in. The Pokémon theme started playing and I begun singing along. It wasn't too long after that I remembered I was in a crowded gym on a military base. FML

42 381

12 604

Today, I just started working in my core job domain, and all the guys working with me are giving up on their their jobs, because there's no future for it. It sucks being a mechanical design engineer in a country full of IT companies who just want us to convert. FML

842

145

Today, one of my good friends confided in me about the affair she is having with our boss. She'd been sleeping with him for three months and told me they were in love, but it had to be kept quiet due to our company's very strict anti-fraternization policy. I've also been secretly seeing him all year. FML

58 398

23 973