Kids Metal as ****

Metal as ****

lerouxmaster - 22/12/2010 11:43

Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

blah blah daddy - 02/10/2010 23:08 - United States

Today, I picked up my four year old son from daycare. As I was putting him in his car seat, I asked him if he had fun. He yelled, "Shut it, bitch!" FML

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Straight to jail

anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

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Anonymous - 20/04/2013 16:34 - Thailand

Today, I can no longer leave my son at daycare, because at the age of 5, he's started manipulating the girls there into fighting over him. A kid lost a baby tooth in one such brawl. FML

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unknown - 15/09/2011 00:21 - United States

Today, I got a call from my daughter's school saying that she had beat someone up. She's 4. FML

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potatoebee - 03/04/2012 18:19 - United States - Clover

Today, my four-year-old son decided to bite my butt during prayer at church. The entire sanctuary heard me instinctively swear at him. FML

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bubbles - 05/09/2009 23:02 - United Kingdom

Today, I worked my first day at a nursery. At nap time I spent about an hour trying to get all the kids to calm down and go to sleep. I'd finally got the last one to drop off, when my phone rang. Loudly. FML

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mew - 25/10/2011 18:04 - Canada

Today, one of the children at my daycare came up to me and bit me on the face. He laughed so hard at my scream, that he threw up in my lap. FML

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stressedmom36 - 13/08/2015 23:50 - United States - Tampa

Today, my 4-year-old son's daycare called because he kissed a few girls. They explained he can't walk up and kiss little girls. I thought the situation was under control, until I was called an hour later to remove him from the premises for kissing little boys. FML

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Sussy Baka

boymom - 04/08/2021 15:59

Today, my son broke his arm roughhousing with his brother on a bunk bed. While at the ER, he thought it would be funny to tell a different story to each doctor and nurse, forcing me to speak over him. They found this behavior "suspicious" and reported us to child services. FML

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Anonymous - 17/09/2014 21:57 - United States - Dewitt

Today, my 4 year old son groped my breasts and said, "This is what daddy told me to do." FML

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in_side_out 0

Wednesday 22 December 2010 15:58

**** yeah . your sons gonna be a rocker hard out

Good_old_Grim 8

Wednesday 22 December 2010 16:01

Where is the "congratulations" button?

Izabel_BVB 9

Wednesday 22 January 2014 12:13

Be so proud of that child.

rfn2 7

Monday 21 April 2014 15:30

That's awesome

olisykesdick 6

Sunday 27 April 2014 5:47

Metal

DrHail 22

Sunday 11 May 2014 7:35

Parenting done right!

TumblrAndStuff 14

Monday 23 June 2014 5:07

I like this kid

ervnomyous 15

Wednesday 30 July 2014 0:06

Well I don't see a problem here

goldeneagle2_0 14

Wednesday 11 March 2015 0:47

Parenting done right!!!!!

KarKitty_Vantas 6

Thursday 16 April 2015 17:43

And he got in trouble for this?

Astrobomb 21

Tuesday 14 July 2015 5:09

parental win

DocWho 4

Friday 11 December 2015 4:57

They grow up so fast. Rock out!

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I admitted to my girlfriend that I had cheated on her. She didn't tell or get mad, oh no. She looked at me for a few seconds then burst out laughing and called me a liar. FML

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Today, I failed my driving test. I've been a legal driver in my home country for 8 years, but can't pass the test here. FML

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Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. When we finished, he mentioned that he made me queef. I didn’t have the heart to tell him I actually farted during sex. FML

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Today, while lighting a cigarette, I learned the hard way that the amount of styling mousse I used to get my curly hair to become manageable, is the roughly same amount that causes it to become highly flammable. FML

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Today, I invited my long-lost best friend over, because I haven't seen her much since she got a new boyfriend. 20 minutes into hanging out, he showed up at my door. He still hasn't left, and they're having sex on my couch right now. FML

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Today, I realized I need to start hitting the gym, when my boyfriend actually utilized my love handles during sex. FML

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