Love: Love is…

Love is…

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 476

You deserved it 8 876

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Same thing different taste

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 104

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 299

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 813

You deserved it 2 980

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 950

You deserved it 6 681

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 930

You deserved it 38 564

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 457

You deserved it 4 068

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 553

You deserved it 4 593

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 934

You deserved it 10 332

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 815

You deserved it 356

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 956

You deserved it 23 231

Ray_Scott 0

Friday 13 November 2009 9:26

It's not love until you know she poops and you still want to have sex with her.

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 13 November 2009 9:10

I swear the last sentence said "I can't look at her ****** the same ever again" [shakes head, blinks eyes several times] Anyway, you're going to hear a lot of crap (haha) about how it's only natural and girls do poop etc etc But really, I understand. Nobody wants to think about their significant other defecating, or anyone at all for that matter, unless they're into that kind of thing. It's a rather awkward situation to stand and watch, especially when it's smelly. Now, this could be a plus though... she is comfortable enough to let you... er, witness that? Obviously it could also be the booze though.

Comments

blobner_bob 0

Friday 13 November 2009 20:59

should've asked her what she was gonna do, smart one

Inky_fml 0

Friday 13 November 2009 22:15

For everyone talking about how he'll never look at the mother of his children the same way again: the "miracle" of childbirth is freaking disgusting! I personally would have far more issue with holding the hair of someone who was drunk to the point of vomiting than just seeing them have a BM. But maybe being a nursing student changes that? Regardless, you deserve it for being that squemish about feces when you did help her to the BATHROOM.

myfriend_youfail 3

Saturday 14 November 2009 0:01

Err, yeah, that was kinda the point we were trying to make there...childbirth IS disgusting. If he thinks it's bad NOW, just watching her lay a dukie, just wait until she has a child! She'll be pushing a baby (covered in blood and other fluids) out of a huge hole that's normally roughly the size of a quarter, and she'll be pushing so hard she won't just push out a baby, she'll push out a few turds and lose control of her bladder while she's at it. If he thinks watching a girl do number 2 is bad.....man oh MAN, I can't wait until he becomes a father! My guess is he'll vomit all over the floor of the delivery room. :D

Coraline_Girl 0

Friday 13 November 2009 22:15

Grow up. Seriously. Everyone poops. If you eat, it has to come back out. It's just a fact of life. You're an idiot. YDI, but your girlfriend doesn't deserve to put up with you if you can't handle a normal bodily function.

forgetme_not 0

Friday 13 November 2009 23:03

everybody poops.

Bloodknight 22

Saturday 14 November 2009 0:01

OMG! This is hilarious! if anyone I was dating ever took a shit with me present, they'd be out on their ass so fast, LMFAO!

TheSuperSpicer 6

Sunday 18 December 2011 2:54

You're an ignorant asshole.

saviisneat 0

Saturday 14 November 2009 0:13

I had to comment on this. My boyfriend and I do this in front of each other all the time. He semi lives with me and there are times where him or I am going to the restroom and one or the other needs to shower, brush our teeth, etc. It's unavoidable. You get used to it. We were talking about it one day and said that we rather be comfortable in our relationship, otherwise it wasn't worth having. As several people have stated, everyone poops. If you truly like the person you are with then it shouldn't matter. Why would you want to be with someone who can't be comfortable around you? Get over yourself.

Gotdirt 0

Saturday 14 November 2009 0:20

Oh boo hoo. You saw your girlfriend do somthing you do at least 3 times a day, every day of your life. GET OVER IT.

kait123 0

Saturday 14 November 2009 0:34

buddy you really need to grow up ! everybody ******* ***** by the way . i dont no how you think its weird if a girl takes a shit when guys are all like man i have to shit . @ yous are very blunt about it and who gives a **** if she shit . you should grow a set of ******* balls you asshole by the way im a girl and if my boyfirend dumped me because i took a shit .. then hes ******* retarted

saviisneat 0

Saturday 14 November 2009 1:26

You seem like a very classy lady.

myfriend_youfail 3

Saturday 14 November 2009 1:32

Did you seriously just say "yous", "boyfirend", and "retarted"? Gee, girlie, maybe you should do a bit of self-examination before calling people out on intelligence. Also, I'm pretty sure any boyfriend of yours would dump you because of your rather abusive and limited vocabulary.