Love: Love is…

Love is…

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 476

You deserved it 8 876

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Put the booze down

By Anonymous - 13/08/2020 14:01

Today, I shat myself in front of my girlfriend's family, after drinking too much the previous night and waking up with major stomach problems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 568

You deserved it 2 104

Tasty

By Anonymous - 22/05/2020 20:00

Today, while picking up my extremely drunk girlfriend from a party, she insisted on attempting to make out with me. She threw up in my mouth mid-kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 809

You deserved it 299

By Med - 13/11/2012 12:02 - Netherlands - Groningen

Today, after clubbing with my girlfriend, we went to her place. She then threw up on the floor, and went to clean herself up. When she came back, she'd forgotten that she'd just thrown up. She blamed me for puking, and kicked me out. It was 4:00 am and a 3-hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 813

You deserved it 2 980

By Anonymous - 16/08/2010 20:20 - United States

Today, I kissed my girlfriend. She threw up in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 950

You deserved it 6 681

By allennn - 14/03/2010 14:56 - France

Today, I went to a party, and the girl I really like started telling me how much she likes me and how she thought we would be good together. I was so drunk I threw up on her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 930

You deserved it 38 564

Gross out competition

By shattysituation - 31/12/2012 22:36 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try a new place to eat. On our way home we both had upset stomachs. As we raced into the house we realized neither of us could hold it any longer. Having only one bathroom, I let her go first. She exploded on the toilet and I exploded in my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 457

You deserved it 4 068

By kdeeeceee - 09/11/2011 05:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had dinner at my boss's house. Just before we were ready to eat, my girlfriend came to me with a desperate look in her eyes. Apparently, she took a dump, clogged the toilet, and it flooded. I took the hit for her, and now my boss thinks I'm a jackass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 553

You deserved it 4 593

By jimbop - 23/05/2009 17:48 - Canada

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 934

You deserved it 10 332

Grossed out

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 14:00

Today, I was helping this girl to the nurse’s office because she was so sick that she could barely walk. About halfway there, she stopped and vomited on me. My jaw was dropped in shock when she threw up on me again. A little went into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 815

You deserved it 356

Party animal

By Laci - 30/04/2011 17:50 - United States

Today, I was stuck crouching over the toilet after a night of drinking. My fiancé walked in, gathered my hair, and held it out of the way. When another wave of nausea hit me and I leaned in, he shoved my face into the bowl and ran out, laughing and yelling, "That'll teach ya!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 956

You deserved it 23 231

Ray_Scott 0

Friday 13 November 2009 9:26

It's not love until you know she poops and you still want to have sex with her.

DameGreyWulf 0

Friday 13 November 2009 9:10

I swear the last sentence said "I can't look at her ****** the same ever again" [shakes head, blinks eyes several times] Anyway, you're going to hear a lot of crap (haha) about how it's only natural and girls do poop etc etc But really, I understand. Nobody wants to think about their significant other defecating, or anyone at all for that matter, unless they're into that kind of thing. It's a rather awkward situation to stand and watch, especially when it's smelly. Now, this could be a plus though... she is comfortable enough to let you... er, witness that? Obviously it could also be the booze though.

Comments

Gillypants 3

Friday 13 November 2009 15:01

girls poop. grow up and gtf over it. how is this even an FML? yeah, maybe FML i'm so immature i can't handle natural body functions. ******* idiot.

DDDennis 0

Friday 13 November 2009 15:18

Can't call someone immature when you get so angry over a "FML" post. Jesus, relax a little and breathe.

yaikwhed 6

Saturday 27 February 2010 4:16

70. it's a fml cause it happened when she was drunk. would you carry your drunk bf to the toilet to watch him shit?

tmth0421 0

Friday 13 November 2009 15:07

Everyone poops, get over it already!!

withered 30

Friday 13 November 2009 15:08

I bet you couldn't believe that women take crap too, could you? -.-" Don't be so immature and get over it -.-"

Shshsh 0

Friday 13 November 2009 15:27

well dont you ever take a huge, monstrous crap? grow up everybody does that, you just didn't have to see it

BigSky182 0

Friday 13 November 2009 15:32

You're a tool. You should be happy you have a girlfriend at all. If the fact that she poops changes how you see her, then you never really saw her in the first place.

myfriend_youfail 3

Friday 13 November 2009 15:35

How could you not realize she was getting ready to do a Number 2? She'd have to pull down her pants (or hitch up her skirt), and sit down on the toilet seat...and in that amount of time, you should have been able to figure out that THAT orifice isn't the one vomit comes out of, and left the room. ...Unless she was naked from the waist down. In which case WTF??? And yes, watching your significant other take a thunder shit...not exactly the most attractive thing in the world. But it's not the END of the world. Get over it. If you two ever have kids together and you're in the delivery room, you'll get to REALLY watch her shit herself because yeah...the majority of women piss and defecate themselves during childbirth. Better get used to it if you want a little Junior running around. ;)